Just when you thought it was safe to open your browser comes...

Medium Sized Lined Sheet of Paper on Too Much Sugar and Not Enough Sleep, Episode One

Usagi: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...

Makoto: Here they are a sitting on my chest...

Ami: Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...

Haruka: SHUT UP! (Drop kicks them over Mt. Fuji)

U., M., A.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Michiru: And here I thought those anger management classes had HELPED...

Haruka: They do when I'm not surrounded by frickin' idiots!

Setsuna: Here. Go smash all the little fragile stuff in there. (Hands Haruka a key and points to a door.)

Haruka: Break stuff? Really?

Rei: I hope you know I pack a chainsaw...

Minako: I'll skin your ass raw...

R., M.: And if my day keeps going this way I just might break your fucking face tonight!

Haruka: GIMME SOMETHING TO BREAK! (Runs into the next room and sounds of vases and windows being smashed, wood splintering reaches everyone)

Michiru: (glares at Setsuna) You had to do that didn't you? Now she'll be insatiable tonight! I'm gonna get carpal tunnel tongue!

Hotaru: What's that mean, Michiru-mama?

Setsuna: You don't want to know Hotaru.

Chibi-Usa: I do! I want to know!

Setsuna: Then again, maybe you do want to know.

Spork: It's about time! It's taken me FOREVER to age these two past the age of consent!

Haruka: (walks out of the other room, smiling, then she sees Spork and gets all suspicious like) Who are you?

Spork: I'm the author of this insanity.

Michiru: YOU! (Strangles Spork)

Spork: glurb...ack...glak...(begins to turn blue)

Michiru: You're to blame for Haruka's insatiable sex drive! (Thinks about it for a minute then stops strangling Spork) Thanks!

Spork: gasp...pant...don't mention it...

Haruka: Um, Michiru? Have you gone crazy?

Michiru: (grins) Nope! (Drags Haruka to another room, one with a bed and a box of "toys") See you guys in a few hours!

Haruka: Oh dear...

(Michiru slams the door shut and locks it)

Rei: Damn.

Spork: Don't worry I installed cameras.

Michiru: (faintly) I HEARD THAT!

(Spork injects a large dose of passion into the other room using her handy dandy all-purpose spray bottle)

Haruka: (faintly) Oooo baby!

Spork: Now keep quiet you two!

Mamoru: Usagi? Are you in here? (Pokes his head in) Usagi?

Setsuna: (turns to Spork) You had to bring him into this didn't you?

Spork: Just give me a minute!

(*POP* Usagi appears above Mamoru and lands on top of him, knocking the wind out of him)

Spork: Hee hee


Mamoru: Ooof! (Is knocked out)

(Chibi-Usa and Hotaru begin to dance to "To Make You Feel My Love")

Hotaru: When the wind is blowing in your face...and the whole world is on your case...

Chibi-Usa: I would offer you a warm embrace...

H., C.-U..: To make you feel my love

Setsuna: Oh no, she's following in her parents vootshteps.

Spork: What?

Setsuna: (stamps feet) Vootshteps, vootshteps, following in her parent's vootshteps!

Spork: Of course she is! Who better than Haruka and Michiru to follow!

Setsuna: Not when it comes to their style of public declarations of love and public lovemaking!

(Haruka sticks her head out, her hair extremely tousled)

Haruka: We do not have public sex!

Setsuna: Oh yeah? What about that pub?

Haruka: Oh yeah.

Spork: WHAT! I missed that?

Haruka: Well, it was written by someone else.

Michiru: (from inside the room) Haru-u-u-u-u-uka! Get back in here!

(Michiru's hand reaches out and pulls a grinning Haruka back in.)

Haruka: (as she disappears) Back to the watery depths...

(Chibi-Usa and Hotaru stop dancing)

Hotaru: We wanna go to the watery depths!

Chibi-Usa: Yeah!

Spork: Oh goody

Chibi-Usa: Ummm...how do we get there?

Seiya: Well first you have to-

Taiki: DON'T SAY IT!

Seiya: Well, she asked.

Yaten: Dammit, Seiya, you are so annoying! (Grumbles)

Setsuna: Well hello there, cuties!

Seiya: Hey there, pretty mama.

Usagi: SEIYA! (Jumps on him)

Seiya: Whoof!

(Seiya is attacked by kisses from Usagi)

Setsuna: Oh joyous. Odango atama has a sex drive.

Usagi: Hey!

Spork: She has a point.

Taiki: Spork has a point about Setsuna's point.

Rei: Taiki has a point...


Everyone: ...

Usagi: Seiya tastes good.

(Everyone sweatdrops)

Minako: So, Taiki baby how ya been?

(*POP* Makoto and Ami appear, arms wrapped around each other, startled)

Makoto: What the...

Taiki: Makoto baby!

Makoto: Taiki!

(Makoto pulls Taiki into the hug she and Ami were already in.)

Taiki: Ooooo baby!

Ami: Hey Taiki!

Taiki: Hey sexy short shit!

(Ami giggles. Setsuna rolls her eyes.)

Spork: Hee hee (rubs hands together like mad scientist)

Yaten: Grrr...

Spork: Here, Yaten, go break stuff. (Hands him a key and points to the door. Yaten takes the key and goes into the other room.)

Minako: (clutching Taiki's arm) Why don't we leave Mako and Ami and go somewhere more...private. I'd lo-o-o-o-ove to hear about how you've been.

Taiki: (Sweatdrops)

Makoto: Hey! Leave my Taiki alone!

Minako: You've got Ami!

Makoto: So????

Minako: You greedy bitch!

(Minako and Makoto start fighting)

Makoto: They're both MINE!

(Spork breaks out the popcorn and settles on a couch to watch the fight.)

Taiki: Hey, can I join you there, Spork?

Spork: Sure! There's plenty of room!

(Taiki drags Ami to the couch and pulls her in his lap, sitting)

Spork: Go Mako! Go Mina! Oooo that's gotta hurt!

Minako: You will not get them both! I want some!


(Prince Endymion walks in)

Minako: Hel-lo!

Endymion: Um...hi. Wanna go and you know, do something?

Minako: YEAH!

(Minako leaps up and leaves with Endymion)


Spork: Ok, who called Endymion?

Setsuna: I did.

Makoto: Grrr...damn thieving wench...

Taiki: Hey baby (In a Johnny Bravo voice)

Makoto: Oooo!

Spork: Take this helicopter and go far, far away before you jump each other.

Ami: WOO HOO! (Jumps in the helicopter and starts it) COME ON YOU TWO!

(Taiki and Makoto jump in the helicopter and Ami flies it to Hawaii, where a first class hotel room awaits them)

Spork: Hee hee

(Haruka and Michiru walk out of the room, walking a little funny)

Haruka: Why didn't we get to shee Hawaii??!!

Spork: Cuz you never left the hotel room.

Haruka: Oh, yeah, that'sh right...

Setsuna: Hmmm...sprain your tongue again Haruka?

(Michiru collapses on the couch)

Haruka: (Grinning) Yesh.

Michiru: Spork, if there's ever anything I can do for you, tell me! (Is wearing a permagrin)

Haruka: Well, ALMOSHT anything.

Hotaru: Hey, Haruka-papa, how'd you sprain your tongue?

(Haruka blushes. Michiru grins wider.)

Hotaru: I mean, come on, how am I going to serve my princess if I don't know these things?


Hotaru: Well, it's true!

Spork: She has a point.

Chibi-Usa: Hotaru, don't you worry about that, I can CERTAINLY help you.


Chibi-Usa: What? It's true and you know it, Miss Oh-yes-right-there-just-a-little-more-oh-YES!

(Usagi blushes)

Usagi: You were NOT supposed to hear that!

Seiya: Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

Setsuna: You did not have sex with Usagi!

(Minako reappears)

Minako: Yeah! That was ME! (Disappears again)

(Everyone sweatdrops except Usagi, who blushes even more)

Spork: Wow, Odango, you look like a lobster.

Usagi: I DO NOT!

Setsuna: Actually, yeah you do.

(Mamoru wakes up)

Mamoru: A lobster? Where's Usagi?


(Seiya drop kicks Mamoru over Mt. Fuji)

Haruka: And here I thought those anger management classes helped...

Michiru: (Sweatdrops)

Haruka: SPOON!


Well, that's the end of the first edition of "Medium Sized Lined Sheet of Paper on Too Much Sugar and Not Enough Sleep" which is in NO WAY a take off of "Large Blank Sheet of Paper." It's not like this is IN ANY WAY similar to that piece of fine fanfic, just like this fanfic is IN NO WAY related to Sailormoon... I don't own any of these characters and I stole the style yeah I know I'm horribly uncreative. And poor too, since I make exactly ZERO dollars off of this.

Haruka: Shut up already!

There go those voices in my head again...

Written by Lex 'Spork' Tenou, 2000.

Back | Main Page

Site design and layout by Taka Tenou.