Round Two! (ding!)
Medium Sized Lined Sheet of Paper on Too Much Sugar and Not Enough Sleep, Episode Two
Haruka: AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI! PAAAAAPRIIIIIIIKKKAAAAAAAA!!!! (runs around the room wildly, brandishing her Space Sword. Michiru stands next to Spork and shakes her head.)
Setsuna: You just couldn't resist could you?
Spork: Hee hee...can I ever?
Michiru: The least you could do is not let her have the sword...I'm beginning to wonder about your sanity.
Spork: Just beginning? Have you not been paying attention?
(A watermelon on top of a picnic table appears. Haruka's space sword dissapears and reappears on the wall. A broadsword of museum quality appears in Haruka's hand.)
Haruka: WOOHOO! (drools as she plays with the sword)
Setsuna: You are going to kill us one of these days, Spork...
Spork: Why blame me???!!! She's the one with the sword!
Haruka: And I know how to use it! (swings the sword down in an arc and slices the watermelon in half) Anyone for some watermelon?
Seiya: Yay! Watermelon!
Taiki: Oh shut up, Yaten.
Makoto: I want some watermelon!
Ami: Me too!
Minako: Can I have some Taiki instead?
Endymion: Um...hi all...
Minako: Oh, go away.
(Endymion dissapears. Fisheye appears in his place)
Fisheye: Oh hello, Mina.
Minako: ...... (she's speechless)
Fisheye: Let's go to the beach and run around naked!
Minako: Naked? Really? WOOHOO!
(Minako and Fisheye leave)
Spork: Damn I thought she'd never leave!
Haruka: Come and get it! (brings sword down again, slicing thru the watermelon and the picnic table)
Spork: (laughing at an inside joke) It's all good, that's why you were using a picnic table and not Makoto's cutting board!
(Everyone laughs and takes a step away from Haruka)
Haruka: Well, I didn't MEAN to break the table! It just kind of...happened.
Setsuna: Oh, like how that hickey on Michiru's neck just kind of happened? and the one her thigh...and is that one on her boob too?
(Haruka blushes bright red, grinning. Michiru runs and puts on a robe over her bathing suit and a scarf around her neck)
Setsuna: What is it, dumbshit?
Seiya: (blinks) Uhhhh...
Spork: Spill it, dude!
Seiya: Uhh, well....where's Hotaru and Chibi-Usa?
Setsuna: For some reason I think we're better off not knowing...
(Hotaru walks in hand in hand with Chibi-Usa, and each licks the fingers of their free hand.)
Spork: I don't want to know, I don't want to know...
Setsuna: Neither do I, neither do I...
Haruka: (grins and leans on sword) I've taught you well, grasshopper. (the sword breaks and Haruka falls to the ground.)
Michiru: Oh, you're such a stud, honey!
Haruka: I'll show you stud you impudent brat!
(Haruka grabs Michiru and flings her over her shoulder, carrying her to an adjacent room.)
Haruka: We'll be back in an hour!
(She slams the door shut and locks it.)
Setsuna: Not again! Can't you come up with any better plot twists?
(Superman flies in)
Makoto: Who the hell are you?
Superman: I'm the Caped Crusader!
Taiki: You're a looney, is what you are.
(Yaten picks up a handy dandy kryptonite ray gun and fires it at Superman. He's vaporized permenantly, never to come back, not even as a clone for Lois to fall in love with and raise sales to astronomical levels.)
Setsuna: That wasn't what I had in mind.
Disembodied Voice: I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT...
Taiki: What the...???
Voice: I AM THE MILDEW ON YOUR SHOWER CURTAINS...
Setsuna: Who is that?!
Voice: I AM THE DAY OLD SPAGHETTI YOU EAT FOR DINNER! I....AM DARKWIIIIING DUCK!
(A caped and hooded duck crashes thru the ceiling. The duck tries to land on it's feet, but falls on it's beak)
Darkwing Duck: Owwww.....
Spork: Wow...Darkwing Duck...that must mean...
Setsuna: Don't even say it. I don't want to know.
(the duck stands and shakes it's head)
Darkwing Duck: Let's get dangerous!
(Setsuna takes out a wet noodle and beats Darkwing Duck with it until he flys away.)
Setsuna: Grrrr...stop doing that!
Spork: What? What did I do? (tries to look innocent)
Setsuna: I swear if you bring in one more unrelated character, I am gonna whoop you so bad...
Sailor Iron Mouse: I say we go after that duck and get some orange sauce...
Sailor Lead Crow:Yeah...who cares if it's a Chinese recipe...
Spork: They're related! Don't even start with me!
Makoto: She has a point...
Setsuna: Don't start that again!
Sailor Iron Mouse: Let's eat duck! (runs after and attacks Darkwing Duck. He tries to fight back and Sailor Iron Mouse and Darkwing Duck take the fight to the kitchen. Sailor Iron Mouse comes back with a large platter of Duck in Orange Sauce.)
Setsuna: You're just lucky I like duck...
(Everyone eats some duck)
Taiki: Oh shut up! (drop kicks Mamoru over Mt. Fuji) AND STAY THERE!
Galaxia: So....uhhhh...what was I doing?
Spork: Getting high, what else?
Usagi: Uhhh...isn't that illegal?
Taiki: Yeah, but isnt it also illegal for a twenty year old to be dating a sixteen year old?
Taiki:(doesn't notice his life is in danger) And isn't it also illegal to have lesbian sex?
Ami: Only in states with odd sodomy laws.
Usagi: Don't make me have to beat you Taiki...
Galaxia: Look at all the pretty colors...
Sailor Lead Crow: Hey Galaxia! Don't tell anyone but...(looks around and whispers)...they're watching you...
Galaxia: Who? Where?
(Haruka and Michiru walk back in. Haruka's walking funny. Michiru is rubbing her neck.)
Michiru: Setsuna...remind me never to trust Haruka's judgement again.
Galaxia: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!
Sailor Lead Crow: Hee hee
(Galaxia crawls under Setsuna's skirt)
Haruka: I'm sorry! I didn't know I was gonna hurt you!
(Michiru glares at Haruka. Setsuna yelps and jumps as she realizes Galaxia is under her dress.)
Setsuna: GET OUT OF-ooohhhh....
Michiru: You nearly broke my neck with your thighs Haruka!
Makoto: Ok...way too much information...
Haruka: Awww, Michiru, I'm sorry can I rub your neck for you?
Setsuna: Nononononononono not here not now stopthatGalaxia!
Michiru: Well, I suppose it's the least you can do...
(Haruka starts to massage Michiru's shoudlers. Setsuns is fwapping at Galaxia. Ami and Makoto have decided to turn around and pretend they don't notice a thing. Rei and Usagi are groping each other wildly.)
Rei: Wha??? When did this turn into an orgy?
Galaxia: ORGY!!! I gots the munchies, who's next?
Spork: Ok, this is ending before it becomes hentai...
Spork: I just meant I'm not gonna WRITE it...
(Haruka looks at Michiru and points to the thoughts in Spork's head)
Haruka: We haven't done that yet!
Spork: THAT'S IT THIS IS OVER!
I have no idea where that came from. Apparently I am not getting enough sex. And I had too much sugar.
I'm too lazy to write out all the disclaimer stuff. So I'll just say I ain't Naoko and I ain't Cele and I said so don't sue me cuz it's their ideas and characters not mine.
But the plot (o.O riiiiiight) pot and hormones are mine.
Lex 'Spork' Tenou, 2000
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