Who the hell am I?
I spend all my time at the racetrack, trouncing everyone who comes up against me.
I know Michiru would tell me that I'm crazy to think like this...maybe I am.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I thought I was just a lesbian...just a bulldagger who had already found hys girl...
And now?
I don't know.
I'm so confused...
I don't ever remember being so bloody confused.
I'm not male. I know that. I acknowledge and accept that.
But...I'm not female either.
I'm not quite column A and I sure as hell ain't column B.
What the hell am I?
I'm scared shitless.
I just want to be me.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I want to tell Michiru everything that's going on in my mind...I don't know if I can.
I know she can pull it out of me...just a touch...just a word...and I melt for her.
I wish I could stop with this dizzying whirlwind that calls itself my brain.
I know I can't.
She called me tonight...she's talking to me..asking me what's wrong.
I ache to tell her...
But I can't force my mouth to form the words....
When it does...they remain trapped behind my stone walls
Melt me Michiru...please...before I can no longer be freed...
~2001
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