WARNING:Language, strong hurt/comfort themes, domestic violence, fantasy violence

Vagaries of Being Wanted
by Lex 'Spork' Tenou

The smell of the salt wind assailed her as she sat on the hood of her car. The thoughts and memories that had been attacking her all day resurfaced despite her best efforts to supress them once more.

"You held back, didn't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."


She couldn't think anymore. It hurt too much.

"What are you doing out here?" She turned. There stood her girlfriend, so beautiful...so...so...HER.

She turned back to the sea. There was no comfort there for her.

"I'm just sitting here." A hand touched her back and she tried to hold back the flinch that ached to surface.

"What's going on? I thought we were going to the movies."

She shrugged.

"I didn't feel like it."

She could see the look on Haruka's face without turning around. Confused, slightly bewildered, and concerned.


She turned to Haruka. Yep...there was the look. She doesn't know what to say to me, she thought. Typical. She never knows what to say to me.

"Why did she ask you if you were holding back?"

Haruka's face immediately closed. Her eyes, so open and concerned a moment ago, had the door within them slam shut in a moment.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me, Haruka. I heard her. I saw you with her. Who is she?"

Haruka turned away, looking at the distant sky.

"I don't know her." Haruka's shoulders and back were stiff. "She's just some chick."

She turned her eyes to the sea once more. I don't believe you! her heart screamed. You know her! You'll run to her! You're going to leave me!


"Come on, babe, I'm with you and not her. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Yes...it tells me that you have a misguided sense of loyalty....I know you want to be with her!

"It's fine, Haruka. Don't worry about me. Go to the charity concert. I don't feel like doing anything today."

Haruka looked at her girlfriend. There was something different...she seemed a lot sadder than she ever had before. It was almost like....

"I'll be back tonight...Are you going to go home?"

She looked at the waves. They crashed on the shore, one after the other, relentlessly...

"I don't know."

Haruka took her girlfriend's chin in her hand and turned her face.

"I'll miss you while I'm gone, babe." No you won't! You'll be watching her! These thoughts whirled in her head as Haruka leaned her head down and softly took her lips with the same gentle firmness she always loved.

Haruka walked into the apartment she shared with her girlfriend and was suddenly struck with the sense of something being very NOT RIGHT.

"Hello? Are you here, babe?" Haruka turned on a light and immediately saw what it was.

Most of the stuff in the house was gone. Her stereo was gone. All of the small portable things in the house...gone. The walls were doing a stunning impression of swiss cheese. Some holes appeared to be the size of her girlfriend's fist or head. Others looked to have been made with the sledgehammer Haruka kept in the garage. Her ex had even used the small end table next to the couch to break the tv.

Haruka walked through the house, slowly. "What the hell..." Everything. Gone. Smashed. Destroyed.

She walked into the bedroom she had shared with her. Even the bedsheets were gone. The mattress was slashed and the stuffing pulled out. On half of the mattress. Her half.

Left on the undamaged side of the bed was a single sheet of paper.


You have got to be the worst girlfriend I have ever had. I know you want that little bitch from the racetrack and the charity tonight. You go ahead and try to see if she's half as good as I am, and when you are done with the bitch, you just try and get me back, you spineless good for nothing excuse for a woman.

You had the best in me and you will never get anything like me again.

Don't try and get any of MY stuff away from me. You have your little tramp now. Leave me and MY stuff out of it.

If I ever see you or that tramp, I'll do to you what I did to the bed. For starters.

I love you."

The paper floated to the ground. Haruka collapsed on the bare ripped mattress.


In all, her now ex girlfriend had taken close to 60 thousand dollars worth of electronics, sports memorabilia, and various other things. She had also taken Haruka's credit card that she had left in the house and completely maxed it out with a single large cash withdrawal. They had a joint bank account with about ten thousand dollars in it...cleaned out. Her Porsche had been left in the garage...it now bore numerous heel marks and hammer marks. The tires she had just bought the previous month were slashed beyond recognition. The car rested on the bent rims.

Haruka was seriously regretting ever investing in a sledgehammer.

The worst sight for Haruka was seeing her Harley on its side in the garage. It had been hammered repeatedly with the sledgehammer, and was now a twisted mass of metal, nothing like the powerful lines it had formerly had. The tires were both bent nearly double and the rubber of them was reduced to strips. One of the handlebars was touching the leather seat, which was also slashed.

Haruka was glad she had left her most valuable posessions with Setsuna, including the hand crafted bike she had built. She was also glad that she had taken Setsuna's advice and made a list of the CD's she had in her collection, since her ex had taken some of THOSE too.

She was VERY glad she had invested in a top quality computer with so many safeguards, her ex would never have been able to get into it to see the true extent of Haruka's wealth.

As it was, Haruka was not in any sort of dire straights, since she had enough to replace all of her stuff, repair the apartment and pay off the credit card a few times over. It was the emotional betrayal that struck her so hard.

She had trusted her. Not completely, but enough that this was...horrific.

"Why did you protect me? If you injure your hand, you won't be able to become a violinist!"

"I didn't snoop around just because you were the one. It was before I knew. I was watching you from nearby when you raced for the first time. I always wanted to ride in your car with you along the coastline just once...You never asked any favors of anyone. You are always faithful to your feelings."

Haruka was stunned. She hadn't known...

"I'm not faithful. I'm always running away."

"I know more about you than you do...because I watch you all the time. I don't want you to take the same path I took. Still, I was happy when I found out that you're the one..."

Haruka was left speechless. In that moment, hearing Michiru say those words...it was as though she finally realized who she was. Who she truly had to be...because she couldn't deny it.

She reached for the henshin wand and took it's smooth form into her hand.

If Michiru could find in her something worth protecting, Haruka could be her partner...she could be a senshi. She could find the courage and strength within herself to get past the hurt her ex had inflincted on her.

And maybe someday...she could love again.

"Haruka, do you have many ex's?" Haruka froze in the middle of flipping the channel. There was this guy trying to sell some sort of cleaning product, but Haruka didn't even see him as she cleared her throat and carefully kept her gaze on the TV.

"Um...why do you ask?"

"Well, you never talk about any of them and I was just wondering if I need to start watching my back or anything." Michiru's lips curved in a small smile. Her eyes twinkled with her unspoken merriment.

Haruka looked at Michiru. Did she want to bring up that betrayal again?

In the depths of Michiru's eyes, Haruka saw her innocent curiosity and the constant love that resided there. Michiru saw the inner struggle in Haruka's eyes...her love and trust of Michiru battling with her automatica defense mechanism of running and shutting down.

"When I met you..." Haruka paused and cleared her throat and tried again. "When I met you, I was with a woman who...was less than kind to me. When she left me, she took everything she could from the apartment and smashed everything else up. You've seen my Porsche?" Michiru nodded. "She wrecked it. Took a sledgehammer to it. Did the same to my Harley."

"Oh, Haruka..." Michiru scooted over next to Haruka and took her into a huge hug, pulling Haruka's head down to rest on her shoulder..

"She took something like sixty thousand dollars worth of stuff from me...maxed out a credit card I had left here...I haven't seen her since the day of that charity concert when I saw your picture "End of the World". She left me a note. She threatened you and me in it."

"Oh, honey..." Michiru stroked Haruka's hair as she told her story.

"She's crazy, Michiru....she threatened to slash me to pieces and in the next line said she loved me."

"Did you put a restraining order on her?"

Haruka nodded.

"Good." Haruka raised her head to look into Michiru's eyes.

"Honey...a restraining order doesn't mean shit. She can still come and get to us."

Michiru looked into Haruka's worried eyes. Now she understood Haruka's worry and insistence that they have a good security system. Such pain.... Michiru could feel the waves of pain radiating off of Haruka.

"I know, baby...I know."

Haruka ducked her head and swallowed convulsively, trying to keep her tears back. She raised her head, eyes glistening with her unshed tears and took Michiru into her arms.

"I love you."

Michiru smiled sadly into Haruka's collar.

"I love you too, Haruka."

After a moment in which she drew strength from merely having her love in her arms, Haruka sighed and pulled back.

"Did you get the mail today?" Michiru shook her head no. "Ok...I'm going to go and get it."

Michiru smiled and drew Haruka's head down for a kiss.

"I love you."

Haruka smiled lopsidedly. "I love you too."

Haruka grabbed her keys and left the apartment.

It was quiet in the hallway. Deathly still. Haruka's senses were on red alert.

The small squeak of shoes on the floor came too late to warn Haruka. There was a flurry of kicks and punches raining down on her. A well placed kick landed on her knee and sent her crashing to the floor with a muffled cry of pain and surprise.

She shielded her self from the worst of the blows, her training as a senshi kicking in.

A shaft of light fell across her attacker's face and Haruka went cold. She was defending herself against her ex.

The glint of a knife showed in her ex's left hand. She used the right to slap Haruka across the head repeatedly. The hard toes of her shoes connected with Haruka's back and sides, hitting her ribs.

"You bitch...how dare you!" A litany of curses were rained down on Haruka's head as her ex beat her.

Finally, Haruka was able to grab one of her feet and flip her onto her backside. Slowly, painfully, Haruka stood and towered over her.

"I don't want to see you around here ever again." Haruka's voice was ice cold.

Her ex spat in her face. Haruka wiped it off with her sleeve and stared hard at her ex for a moment. Her ex scoffed at her and began to rain down curses on Haruka's head once more.

Haruka's hand whipped out and cracked against the side of her ex's face.

After a moment of shock, her ex sneered, "I thought you said you would never hit a woman."

Haruka gave her ex another hard look.

"You have ceased to be a woman. Leave before I call the cops."

Her ex left after a few more curses had been flung at Haruka. Haruka didn't move until she saw her ex's car pull away and speed off.

Only then did she let out a sigh and lean against the wall. In a quick mental inventory of her pains, she guessed she had a bruised shin, her knee was probably out of joint, her ribs were definitely broken, she probably had a concussion, there were any number of bruises all over her body and she might have a couple of other broken bones.

Haruka sighed and winced. Definitely a broken rib or two. She leaned over, wincing again, and checked her knee. Yep, out of joint. Haruka took a deep breath and let it out with a grunt as she put her knee back in joint. She remained still, bent over, her jaw tightly clenched as she rode out the wave of pain.

Haruka took a few more shallow breaths before standing up straight.

She had to get the mail. She gritted her teeth against the pain and walked over to the mailboxes. She got the mail for the day, absentmindedly noting the blood on her hands. She wiped her hands off on her pants before retrieving the envelopes from the mailbox.

The trip back to the apartment was nothing less than arduous. Every step was torture compounded as it vibrated along her nerves and caused wave after wave of pain to wash over her. She could feel her senshi powers acting upon her injuries already.

When she finally reached the door to the apartment she shared with Michiru, she sighed mentally before opening the door.

Michiru walked into the front hallway to find out what took Haruka so long and and stopped dead. Haruka was a mess, to put it mildly. Her hair was matted down in one place with blood that trickled down to her eyebrow and past her eye. A bruise was beginning to form on her left cheek. Blood seeped through parts of her shirt. There was also blood on her pants in the shape of her hands. Michiru glanced at them and saw the mail in Haruka's hands.

Michiru overcame her momentary paralysis and ran the few steps to Haruka, immediately supporting her wieght and half pulled, half dragged her to the couch in the living room. Haruka winced as she sat and leaned back. Michiru rushed to the kitchen and got packs of ice and wet a couple of washcloths.

She returned to the living room and Haruka's face was pale and ashen as she sat there. Michiru kneeled in front of her.


Haruka blinked and focused on Michiru.


Michiru rested her hands on Haruka's thighs.

"Honey, what happened?"

Haruka scowled, her jaw clenching as she tried to control her rising anger. Michiru cupped her cheek and forced Haruka to look into her eyes. Haruka continued to clench her jaw as she answered Michiru.

"Remember my crazy ex?"

Michiru paled.

"She was here?"

Haruka nodded and her eye twitched as another twinge of pain assailed her.

"Waiting by the mailboxes. She surprised me."

Michiru dabbed at the blood on Haruka's face.

"Baby, we need to get you out of these clothes."

Haruka would have laughed if it didn't hurt so much to breathe.

"You just want to see me in my underwear." Michiru just shook her head.

"Even injured you still flirt incessantly." She loosened Haruka's tie and removed it. She unbuttoned Haruka's shirt. "Honey...this is going to hurt, and I'm sorry."

Haruka looked at Michiru and smiled through her pain.

"It's ok, honey, I understand."

Haruka took a shallow breath and let it out as she leaned forward. Michiru slipped Haruka's shirt off and removed the a-frame shirt she wore underneath it, leaving her in her sports bra. Haruka's breath was fast and shallow, her jaw clenched, her face ashen as she leaned back. Michiru was physically pained to see Haruka in such torment.

Michiru unbuckled Haruka's belt and took it off. She unfastened Haruka's pants and looked up at Haruka.


Haruka raised her head from the back of the couch and looked at Michiru.

"I need to stand up now don't I?"

Michiru bit her lip and nodded. Haruka held her hands out and Michiru gripped them, pulling Haruka up after she gave Michiru a nod to indicate her readiness. Haruka's breath hissed out as she grimaced at the pain she felt coursing through her.

Michiru quickly pulled Haruka's pants to her ankles. As she stood, she saw the bruising around Haruka's knee.

"That bitch put your knee out of joint didn't she?"

Haruka nodded, too intent on trying to control the pain to deny it. A million inventive curses flew through Michiru's mind as she watched Haruka's face cringe in pain.

"What else did she do."

"Broke a rib or two, bruised my shin, and might have a concussion...and I'm not sure what else." Haruka managed to get all that out in one breath though a clenched jaw. She was rather impressed with herself.

Michiru's breath hissed out as her eyes narrowed and the life span of Haruka's ex lessened considerably.

"Let's get you into the recliner." Michiru helped Haruka to the recliner and helped her to sit and lean back. Haruka winced and groaned as she finally relaxed into the recliner. Michiru's face was set in stone, her eyes as hard and cold as steel as she thought about what had happened to Haruka.

"Hey babe? Could you get me the remote? It's not in my chair."

Michiru smiled and laughed a little at Haruka's a request.

"That's because the remote is supposed to be near the TV, not in your chair." Michiru brought Haruka the remote and then set about to tending to her wounds.

"Haruka! Watch out!" The daimon they were fighting was especially vicious, trying to slash Haruka from head to toe with nearly every swipe of it's extended claws. It seemed as though it were targeting Haruka rather than the pure heart it was supposed to. WIth Haruka still recovering from the attack of her ex last week, this was not a good situation.

Michiru saw her opening and took it.


Her attack hit the daimon straight on and destroyed it. Michiru ran to Haruka and supported her before she could hit the floor. She glanced at where the daimon had been and nearly dropped Haruka. She told Haruka she would be right back and left her leaning against a nearby wall.

Michiru reached Haruka's ex just as she waking up from being possessed by the daimon. When she opened her eyes, she saw the imposing figure of Sailorneptune standing over her looking none too pleased.

"I know you have been harrassing Tenou Haruka. If you do not stop, you will bring the wrath of Neptune upon your head." With that curt warning Michiru turned and began to walk back to Haruka. Half way there, she stopped and turned back to Haruka's ex.


Her attack was strong and true, striking the tree next to Haruka's ex, as she had meant to do. The tree splitered and cracked in two. Noting the ashen cast on the woman's face, she was satisfied that Haruka would no longer be harassed.

Michiru helped Haruka to her feet.

"Come, love...let's go home."


This fic achieved sentient status and formed a life of it's own that demanded it be written EXACTLY THIS WAY. Who am I to deny a fic that?

Slave to the muse is all I am.

I thank Daddy Hatter for hys input into this story...this story wouldn't have been the same without you. Thanks, big bro.

Domestic violence can occur in any relationship, gay, straight, butch-femme, transvestite...it does not matter who you are with, the abuse can occur. If you are being abused, seek help immediately. We do not want you to be another statistic.

Peace, love, unity and respect for all.

February 2001

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