Title: Best Laid Plans

Rating: PG

Pairing: Shego/Kim.

Disclaimers: Warnings / Disclaimers: "Kim Possible" and all derivative characters are property of Disney. All original ideas are distributed under the CreativeCommons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike License. For more information on the Creative Commons License, visit CreativeCommons.org.

Author's Note: Response to a challenge, but I'm seriously doubting this is what was in mind when the challenge was posted. Subtext? What subtext? All other works archived at The Utensil Drawer.


Dr. Director eyed the flowchart wearily.

If Shego were to develop feelings for Ron Stoppable, the probability of her ending her life of crime was 22.3%. If she were to develop feelings for Dr. Drakken, it was 34.9%.

If she were, however, to develop feelings for Kim Possible...


The last time they'd seen numbers that high was quite a long time ago. Interestingly enough, with another Possible. Operation Shining Clover had gone off without a hitch, and a third world war had been averted thanks to that.

Dr. Director followed the familiar lines with a fingertip, tracing over the variables.

Accepting family...legitimate job offer...lack of repercussions for her criminal life...

When all was said and done, if Kim Possible were to return Shego's affections, the probability approached certainty.

Dr. Director leaned back in her chair.

So many plans.

So little time.

"Agent Coe! Report!"

The slim agent stepped forward into the light, his light hair gleaming a burnished gold in the harsh flourescence.

"Agent Will Coe, reporting as ordered, Ma'am! As of 2137 hours, Subject Green Tiger and Subject Red Fox engaged in combat, ranging approximately forty yards from their initial contact point. An audio file was made of their encounter. At approximately forty two seconds after commencement, Operation Safeguarding Freedom proceeded as planned. Subjects finished their encounter and returned to Dying Condor and Rolling Spring."

"Agent Mativ! Report!"

Next to Agent Coe, a bulky figure stepped from the shadows, the light disappearing into the deep blackness of his hair.

"Agent Safire Mativ, reporting as ordered, Ma'am! Subject Red Fox displayed expected results of Operation Safeguarding Freedom! All is proceeding according to plan!"

"Agent Beyan! Report!"

The final figure standing at attention slipped into the light, every sleek curve caressed by the unfeeling light as she snapped into a salute, her previous training still dying hard.

"Agent Roz Beyan, reporting as ordered, ma'am! Subject Green Tiger destroyed portions of Dying Condor as expected. Hovering Frog is en route to Dragging Flamingo, with Green Tiger in pursuit. The expected fury has abated as planned."

The reinforced wooden door of the conference room burst open with an explosion of energy that could only be Lisa Betext, Dr. Director's assistant.

"B! Big news! Shego's left the blue dude and is heading north! Straight for Middleton!"

Dr. Director smiled widely at Lisa, eyes twinkling merrily as she leaned back in her chair.

"B...don't say it, please, you know I hate it when you-"

"I love it when a plan comes together."

Lisa groaned. "You are so not getting any cookies."


Special Agent Roz Beyan grimaced as the cold sludge that passed for coffee in Global Justice headquarters washed over her tongue.

"Ugh! Would it kill them to get some freakin' Barnie's or something?"

Shaking her head, she tossed her paper cup into the trash can and returned her attention to the round table discussion.

"Where are we at, people?"

Special Agent Will Coe sighed and twirled a pencil through his fingers. "Same place we were five minutes ago. If Operation Safeguarding Freedom doesn't see some action beyond blatantly subtextual looks and midnight stalkings, I'm going to quit and go back to being Narco."

Special Agent Safire Mativ rolled his eyes and lowered himself into a spare chair. "You could no more do this as you say than you could land a hit on Roz."

Will shot a mock glare at Roz. "If she didn't play dirty, I could!"

Roz snorted. "Your specialty is munitions. Where in munitions school do they teach you how not to fight like a pansy assed momma's boy?"

Will threw his pencil at Roz' head. She plucked it from the air, grinning. "Thank you. I have some notes to make."

Safire nudged Will's shoulder, grinning widely. Will rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair.

"Safire, what'd we learn from the audio?"

"Nothing absolute. Banter. You know how subtextual that gets."

"I should, it's what got me my last three dates." She jotted down a thought and raised her head, staring at a point over Will's head. "We can expect approximately four more encounters before one or the other snaps. Probability is going through the roof on either. Too many variables just yet." She twirled the pencil between her fingers absently.

She snapped forward, pointing the pencil directly at the deep in thought Will.

"What was that last invention the twins were working on?"

Will blinked for a moment, answering automatically. "Shrink ray. They're trying to crack Mego's secret. If we don't rig it to explode or remote it, they should have it operational within a week, after the blue and white LED's are delivered."

"With as far behind as the Firebird Project has gotten, I'm not surprised they're so close."

Safire shook his head, pushing the papers in front of him aside. "Leaking the information wouldn't do any good for Drakken, he's already tried the shrink ray. He made it a magnifier, remember? 'Saved by a giant hairless rodent' incident?"

Roz grinned. "Yes...but he didn't have size restraints that time."

Will looked at her, a slow grin starting on his face. "Lair infiltration. God, I love the way you think."

Safire tossed his shaggy head back in riotous laughter. "Brilliant. She'll go twice as hard if it's near her family. Green Tiger will pull back, indications are she's fallen too deep already."

Roz stood, stretching, her breasts pushing against her tight shirt. Will and Safire averted their gaze, unwilling to find their underwear appearing in their breakfasts again.

"Let's say...a standard chopper bravo three scenario."

Safire's wide grin echoed Will's. "I love the way you think."



The tone of Dr. Director's voice was chilling, an arctic floe that crept into the agent's souls and stilled the blood in their veins.

"We ran a standard chopper bravo three scenario. Upon extraction, I was spotted by Green Tiger. Further observation shows no indication of recognition of the new ghost suit."

"When I said I wanted a field test, I did not mean TODAY."

Roz flinched. "Yes, Ma'am. Understood, Ma'am."

Dr. Director sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "So?"

"The ghost worked flawlessly. She looked right through me."

Dr. Director smiled, slowly. "Excellent." She turned away from the agents, facing her simple desk. "Operation Safeguarding Freedom?"

"Continuing as scheduled, ma'am. This new development is tipping probability towards Red Fox breaking first."

"Remind me."

"The Aural Montezuma contingency, Ma'am."

"Ahhh...yes. That one always was my favorite."



"Yes, Ma'am."

"How does someone disable a shrink ray with a jelly doughnut? Nevermind. I do not want to know." Dr. Director waved her agents away. "Rework the numbers."


"B! Got some news here. Looks like little Kimmie's been doing some doodling in her diary."

Dr. Director took the sheaf of photographs from Lisa, smiling. "Did you get the-"

"With the thing? Oh, yeah! Thank you so much!" Lisa reached over and pinched Dr. Director's cheek. "You get proper thanks once we're done here."

Dr. Director cleared her throat, ducking her head to hide her blush.


"Report, Beyan. And make it quick, I have somewhere to be."

"New numbers show Red Fox at 65 percent."

"What? Give me that report."

Dr. Director scanned over the pages quickly. Drawing in hidden current formulae, cross referencing with known situations...

"I do believe this calls for a celebration. Get your team and follow Green Tiger. She'll be making another midnight visit."

Roz bit back the groan that threatened to erupt. "Yes, Ma'am."

"And find me a box of chocolates. I forgot to thank Lisa earlier."


"Beyan! Report!"

"Green Tiger's cover was blown at approximately 0100 hours. Red Fox is thought to have woken up for a drink of water and spotted Green Tiger in the forest."

Dr. Director clenched her jaw. People were far too messy.


Roz shifted awkwardly. "Permission to speak freely?"


"She got whooped. She didn't even try to defend herself."

Dr. Director stared at the distant wall for a long moment before returning her gaze to Roz. A slow grin began splitting her features.

"Excellent. We can expect further developments at the next encounter. Are they still at Drowning Flamingo?"

"They've moved to Gargling Salmon."

"Ahh...a bit of rustic country living. Very nice." Dr. Director nodded, smiling widely. "Keep a close watch on them both. If not the next encounter, then the one after will be the one we've been waiting for."

Roz nodded once, clenching her jaw to stifle her grin.


"B, check this out!" Lisa swept into the room with a clang, a CD in her hand. "Latest footage from Rolling Rock or whatever the hell you decided on for the house on the hill."

"Rolling Spring."

"Yeah, that place. Here!" Lisa thrust the disc into the drive built into Dr. Director's desk. A screen slid smoothly up from the depths of the desk.

Lisa waved at Dr. Director, forcing her to lean back in her chair or risk getting smacked in the nose. Her hands were grabbed and placed on the armrests. Lisa plopped herself down in Dr. Director's lap and watched as the footage began playing.

"You see there? The hand in the bush? Keep watching."

Mutely, Dr. Director watched as the pointed out hand tossed something in the general direction of Red Fox's bedroom window. The light came on and a tousled head of red hair emerged, scowling. When the figure of Green Tiger emerged from the forest, the scowl melted into unsettled shock. Silently, their lips moved.

"We-" Dr. Director paused at the cracking of her voice, clearing her throat. "We've got the lip readers working on this?"

"Yep! Transcript'll be ready in a minute."

Lisa leaned back, snuggling against Dr. Director. The eye-patched woman blinked, gripping the armrests of her chair so hard they squeaked.

"Is there any particular reason why you're in my lap?"

"Cha. There's not another chair here."

"I see."

Internally, Dr. Director groaned. Trust Lisa to come up with a new way of making her life hell. She'd always managed that, since they'd been children. If it wasn't for the woman's genius at running Global Justice, she would have long ago given up and walked away from the frustration.

She ached to shift in her seat, adjust her position, but didn't dare move. Any movement she made might have Lisa deciding that straddling her was a good idea.

She'd done it before.

Back during the kafuffle in South America.

Ah, well.

"Their next encounter. I'd bet almost anything on it." The armrests protesting of their abuse was ignored.


"Beyan! Report!"

Roz snapped to attention at the sharp voice. "1300 hours, Subject Red Fox was called out of location Juggling Rake for an alpha tango deuce situation. Upon arrival at the location, Subject Green Tiger immediately commenced a half-hearted attack. Video footage is on it's way in. Hovering Frog and Hanging Tail engaged in discussion of the merits of-"

Dr. Director cut her hand through the air, stopping Roz' report. "Enough on the sidekicks. Coe! Report!"

"Audio file captured at 1320." Will held up the small penlike recorder and thumbed the play button.

The vocal reproduction was distinct enough for them to hear the impacting of punches and kicks. "Thinking of throwing in the towel, Kimmie? Is it getting too hard for you?"

"Not likely, Shego. You seem to be having problems with your hand, though." A grunt sounded from the speaker as she was slammed against the floor. A moment of rustling and struggling was heard, then- "I love you."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing! Let me go!"

"No! You said it! You said you love me!"

Dr. Director cut her hand across her throat and Will clicked off the recorder.

"Safire, their positions!"

"Green Tiger tackled Red Fox and pinned her to the ground. They struggled, and Green Tiger retained the upper hand. Red Fox stared at Green Tiger, then enacted Aural Montezuma."

"So wait, Shego tackles her, they rassle around a bit and Kim blurts it out?" Lisa pondered for a moment, her musing gaze landing absently on Dr. Director. "Hmmm."

"As expected. Less...finesse than expected, but understandable. The rest of the encounter went as expected?"

Roz nodded. "They broke off their fight and are currently in negotiations at Rolling Spring. From what was captured before they departed, we expect a petition within twenty four hours for Green Tiger's pardon."

"Excellent. Begin the next phase of Operation Safeguarding Freedom. Don't forget I'll be needing the transcripts-"

Dr. Director was cut off by the sudden full body impact of Lisa against her.

"I swear to God, if you don't shut up and kiss me like I've been trying to get you to do for years, I'm going to find a way to turn your brother in a girl and-" Lisa's threat was interrupted by Dr. Director's laugh.

"Dammit, Lisa, if that was what you wanted, why didn't you tell me?"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Duh. Do you think I work with your happy ass because I like this cloak and dagger shit? Your legs looks awesome in this uniform."

Shaking her head, Dr. Director ducked her head, pressing a gentle kiss to Lisa's smiling lips.

Forgotten, the three agents exchanged fearful glances. If Dr. Director remembered that they were still here, she'd kill them. From the intensity of the kiss they were witnessing, however, they were starting to have serious doubts that those two would care if the entirety of Global Justice were there as witness.

Internally, Roz was dancing in glee. With this kiss, she'd won the office pool.

- end -