Title: Rampant Teenage Lesbianism

Author: Lex 'Spork' Tenou

Rating: NC-17/H

Pairing: Brooke/Sam, Renee/James

Author's Note: All poems were written by me.


Rampant Teenage Lesbianism
by Lex 'Spork' Tenou

If I ever was to say I loved you
Would you believe me
I watch you
Every night
Brushing your beautiful hair out
One hundred strokes
I never thought you could invade
My every thought
Never believed
I would fall in love
With the woman I'm supposed
To hate
You are
My antichrist
My antithesis
My enemy
My love
I am supposed to hate you
And everything you stand for
But I can't help
The love
That permeates my soul
My being
I can't hide it
Part of me wishes
I could
Everyone knows
It seems
I see their sympathetic looks
The ones
That say
"I'm sorry."
I'm not
I know
Even if you don't
That no matter who you date
You will
To me
My touch
My hugs
My love


Samantha McPherson set her pen down and sighed. Another fall Monday and her mind was just as much of a maelstrom as all the other times she finished a poem about her housemate Brooke.


Sam's eyes travelled to the single picture that graced her desk. It was Brooke, smiling happily, her eyes gazing into the camera. Sam had taken the picture the last time she and Brooke had gone to the beach, at the end of summer. The simple sundress Brooke had worn that day had driven Sam to distraction.

Those soft rounded calves, dissappearing into the hem of that dress...the floral pattern unbroken until the gentle swell of Brooke's breasts broke free from the soft fabric.

Sam smiled briefly at the memories of that long ago day before returning to her brooding.

Brooke must never know.

Nevermind that Sam's heart was to remain perpetually broken. Brooke deserved better than her.

And so...


Brooke must never know.


Brooke McQueen leaned forward slightly, peering intently at her nose. Great.

Another blackhead.

She was going to be so glad when puberty was finally over and she stopped getting these damned blackheads.

As she treated her newfound blemish, her thoughts returned to the woman whom she knew was writing in the other room.

Sam was captivating. The beautiful brunette often commanded Brooke's thoughts, especially when she had been with her boyfriend. She always wondered if Sam would kiss better.

Josh had always drooled too much. Maybe it was because he kept running his tongue over her lips in a blatant attempt to shove his tongue down her throat.

Or maybe it's that I never wanted to kiss him, an insidious voice whispered in her mind. Maybe it's cause the lips I always imagined were those of the reporter in the other room.

Brooke sighed.

To say she was confused would be nothing less than an understatement. Her thoughts would always be distracted when she saw Sam. Or smelled her. Or thought of her.

Brooke stepped into her bedroom and threw herself onto her bed. She stared at the ceiling, the gentle whorls and oddly shaped stippling of her white ceiling did nothing to distract her from the memory of Sam's agile tongue licking her lips...the memory of Sam's mouth around her pen...

Brooke shivered. She was not going to get all hot and bothered thinking about Sam. Not Sam.

Sam was straight. Sam was straight. Sam was straight.

Brooke hoped the mantra would convince her traitorous heart to calm.


The next morning, Sam was sitting in the cafeteria, scribbling furiously in her notebook. That morning, a glimpse of a mussed, yawning Brooke had inspired her.

"Whatcha writing there, Sam? Something for the paper? It's a scandalous expose, isn't it?"

Sam raised her head, closing her small notebook. A smile broke out on her face as she saw one of her best friends.

"Lily! Hey...what's up?"

Lily dropped down across the table from Sam.

"Ay dios mio! Could the teachers BE any more difficult?" Sam smiled indulgently as Lily started on her rant against their teachers.

Gazing just over Lily's left shoulder, Sam was afforded a perfect view of Brooke and her friends across the room.

Lily continued in her tirade against her torturers, unheeded. Sam's mind was more attentive to the blonde who held her heart. As Lily continued in her speech, Sam's daydreams crept over her conciousness.

Brooke looked over at Sam, her eyes smoky and darkened with desire.


The whisper soft exhalation of her name was more than enough to make Sam orgasm on the spot. Her eyes were rapt on the svelte cheerleader as she stood and walked over, her hips swaying under the short cheer skirt she wore. The long lightly tanned expanse of her thighs beckoned to Sam, inviting her tongue to lave the smooth muscles.

"Like what you see, Sammy?"

Brooke had reached Sam's side. Her foot was on the bench, causing the skirt to fall over her crotch, hiding Brooke's panties from her hungry gaze. Sam found she couldn't form words as Brooke began a slow gyration of her hips, getting closer and closer to Sam's face, lifting the hem of her skirt slowly until -


"I hate those damned teachers!" Lily took a deep breath and ran a hand through her free flowing hair.

Sam ducked her head, dissapointed and shamed by her day dream. This was *not* a good place to fantasize about Brooke giving her a striptease. Her room would be a much better place. At least there she could touch herself. Damn this arousal.

Sam cleared her throat and took a swig from her soda to try and cool her heated cheeks.

"Yeah, Lily, I know. It's not like you say that every single day."

Lily glared at Sam mockingly.

"Don't you start, too, or I'll make sure little Brookie knows what you were just thinking."

Sam paled and stiffened. Lily could not have known that Sam was just fantasizing about Brooke.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Lily scoffed and waved Sam's protest away.

"Please, sweetie, I've seen more than one baby dyke trying to come to grips with her first crush, you are not anything shocking. Though the whole soon to be stepsisters thing does add a nice kink..."

"What's this about kink?"

Carmen slid into the bench next to Sam, smiling widely at them.

"So spill, who's doing what with a whip this weekend?"

Lily laughed and Sam blushed, stammering out a denial.

"Oh hush, Sam. Carmen, isn't the thought of Sam and Brooke together incredibly kinky?"

Carmen had never seen Sam's face turn quite that shade of red before. It was rather amusing.

"Whoa, Sam, you might burst a vein, there." Carmen shook her head and turned her smiling gaze to Lily. "You mean that whole their parents are getting married soon thing? How they live in the same house and have so much chemistry is practically sickening?" Lily laughed and nodded.

Carmen grinned.

"Yeah, it's kinky. Kinda like green jello."

Sam stared at her friends as though they had grown new heads.

"Green jello is kinky?"

"It is when you're being fondled on a bed of it."

Lily laughed.

"I suppose you do have a point."

"Don't I always?"

Sam was unsure if she really wanted to understand her friends. They were a bit odd.

"So anyway, back to Sam and her crush."

A bit odd in the way that Rod Serling was just a bit creepy.

"Get out! You really have a crush on tall blonde and cheery?"

Sam spluttered, trying to speak.

"Hush you. Just stare at your woman and let us do the plotting, ok? Good. Yeah, she's crushing like mad. It would be pathetic if it wasn't so damn cute."

Sam stared at Lily for a long moment before regaining the use of her tongue.

"I do not!"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh please! You so do!"

"I do not have a crush on," Sam leaned in and lowered her voice, "Brooke."

Carmen laughed.

"I've even seen it, Sam. You know how dense I can be sometimes."

"I do not! I don't like her at all! I completely and totally hate her and everything she stands for! She is the single cause for the misery in my life and I couldn't be happier if she was to drop off the face of the earth!"

Lily and Carmen exchanged a look.

"What? What?!"

Lily smiled sweetly.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"Grraargh!! I give up!"

Sam stood and stalked away from the table, passing a befuddled Harrison.

"Umm...Sam just blew me off big time. What's up?"

Lily and Carmen grinned.

"Sit. We have got something juicy for you!"

A few minutes later, Harrison stared at them blankly.

"You mean the two women I fantasize about the most...are lesbians?"

Lily pondered.

"Well, actually, I'm not too sure about Brooke, but judging from her reaction to Sam, I'd have to say the interest is definitely there."

Harrison grinned.

"Cool. Now I can imagine them doing stuff to each other!"

"Harrison!" Carmen smacked him on the back of the head.

"What? A guy can dream can't he?"


At that moment, Sam leaned over the sink in the Novak, water dripping from her face.

I can't believe they said that. I have got to be more careful. Are they going to say anything to...



"What are you doing here?"

Brooke shot Sam a curious look and stepped up to the sink.

"I wasn't aware I needed to check with you before using the bathroom."

Sam flushed.

"You don't, I mean, of course not, I don't own this or anything, um, yeah." Sam grabbed a paper towel and quickly dried her face, fleeing.

Brooke frowned. That was certainly odd. Sam never acted that way.

A square of white on the floor caught her attention. Brooke knelt and picked it up.

The words were scrawled hurridly on the paper. The familiarity of the handwriting nagged at the back of Brooke's mind as she read the words.

"For Brooke

I never thought to tell you
Those times I've held you close
Soothed your fears
Then I have to back away
Crush your hopes
Deny your warmth
I must
Your love
Would kill
I'd be yours
My entire existence
Revolves around you
Already my life
Is yours
But to give more
Would kill me
Because you
Don't love me
As I love you
So my heart
Must live
In perpetual pain
Never knowing your gentle touch
And I
Must continue
With my unrequited lust
For your heart"

Brooke stood in the middle of the Novak, her mind reeling. Was this a prank? Whoever wrote this definitely had a massive crush on her.

Brooke reread the poem, noting the emotion laid bare in the stark contrast of the black ink. Whoever had written this definitely had a gift with words. Brooke couldn't help but feel that she'd seen this handwriting before. For the life of her, she couldn't place it. Her mind continued screaming, trying to tell her whose handwriting she saw.

Maybe it's Sam's. I am not thinking of that. Just because I notice how hot Sam looks in those pants means nothing. It's not like I've been head over heels in love with her for years now.

Brooke groaned inwardly and tucked the poem into her purse determined not to think about this for now.


Harrison lay on the bench of the boy's locker room. He had needed a quick escape from the early morning activities of the school, and the locker room was as good a bet as any, since class wouldn't start for another twenty minutes.

When his mother had told him she was a lesbian, he hadn't reacted very well. To be truly, brutally honest, he had ripped out her heart and stomped on it. Thinking back on his actions, Harrison felt that his actions during those days would be one of the regrets he would carry with him to his grave.

Finding out Sam and Brooke were most likely lesbians too was not as big of a shock as he thought it should be. They had as much sexual tension as the horny teenagers they were. Harrison was actually more surprised to discover that Sam and Brooke weren't actually getting it on at home.

There went that fantasy.

Harrison sighed and stared sightlessly at the ceiling.

His best friend, the person he had told his deepest, darkest secrets to, hadn't trusted him enough to tell him she was crushing on the same girl he was.

That hurt.

Well, knowing that she had better chance than he did hurt too, but a lot less. He had long since come to grips with his staunch loser status. It didn't mean he liked it...it just meant he accepted it.

But the fact that Sam hadn't confided in him...that was downright betrayal. That was beyond low, and it hurt.

Harrison stared at the ceiling, noting idly that the tiles had a couple pencils in them. A few spitballs and some chewed gum completed the ceiling decorations.

So Sam and Brooke were gay. So what? He had long since dealt with his homophobia, and was tentatively planning to take his mother to the Pride march wearing a "I love my lesbian mom" t shirt. He might not like her girlfriend, but hell, he figured he would have had the same problem if his mother had dated another guy.

No one would ever be good enough for his mom.

And Sam?

Was Brooke really good enough for her?

Harrison frowned.

Yeah, she was great fantasy material, and a safe crush. But was she worthy of Sam?

Harrison rose from the bench and strode from the locker room, intent on seeking his best friend and finding out her intentions.

After all, one can't play matchmaker if one doesn't know the hearts of the players.


Sam stormed into the press room, her mind whirling. Seeing Brooke in the bathroom, besides the usual fluttering in her stomach, had also caused her mind to take a field trip to parts unknown.

Tossing her backpack and notebook down, Sam collapsed onto one of the three couches that surrounded the low table in the middle of the press room. The freshmen who sat at the computers entering the copy for their journalism assignments studiously ignored the infamous junior in their midst. They had heard the rumors of the articles Sam had written in the years past, and both suddenly wished they had chosen to work in the computer lab instead of the press room.

Sam brooded on the couch, oblivious to the watery bowels she was causing. She propped her feet up on the table in the middle of the room and relaxed into the chair. Pulling out her notebook, she settled back to write another Brooke poem.

So, another poem about Brooke. Getting in a rut here. Wait...where's the last one?

Sam began flipping through the notebook, nearing frantic as she saw that the poem she sought was not in her book. Taking a deep breath, she tried to remember when she had seen it last.

I saw it when I left the cafeteria...then I went to the Novak...oh my God!

Sam paled as she realized where her poem must be. Taking a deep breath, Sam forcibly calmed herself with a simple thought.

It's not signed. No one knows I wrote it. No one knows. Except Lily and Carmen. And probably Harrison by now. Oh god.

"Hey, Sam! I gotta talk to you!"

Harrison flopped his lanky body onto the couch next to Sam, ignoring the freshmen in the room. Sam cringed slightly, guessing that whatever was coming she would not want to hear.

"What'dja need?"

"Not much...just an explanation for why you didn't tell me."

Sam swallowed and seriously considered hitting Harrison over the head and making a break for it.

"Cause I woulda thought, as your best friend, that you would have told me that you had the same crush as me. Then we could have compared notes, bitched over our mutual patheticness, and eventually found someone who would really make us happy. You know?"

Sam blinked. That was not what she expected.

"You...what? What about your mom and that whole-"

"I am never going to live that down, but I can try to make it somewhat better by never treating anyone else like that ever again. I mean, really...is it so bad that I now have a expert on the female figure as my best friend? Who better to tell me when I'm dating a loser? I mean come on! I am so NOT asking my mother!"

Sam laughed.

One of the freshmen sneezed. 'Oh shit. I'm screwed.' immediately ran through the freshmen's heads.

"By the way...I'm sure I don't have to tell you two that you're not hearing anything in here, right? We can most assuredly rely on your discretion, isn't that right?"

The freshmen turned and looked at Harrison and Sam, who were both staring at them coldly.

"Uh, right! I'm not hearing anything."

"Me neither! Not a word!"

"Excellent. Keep this up and you might just make it without getting flayed alive."

Harrison nearly giggled at Sam's proclamation.

"Flayed alive?" he muttered under his breath.

"Hush you."

Sam grinned before turning her gaze to her hands and sobering.

"I know it wasn't fair of me to not tell you. Hell, I just figured it out myself. I'm in love with a fricking beauty queen that can't stand the sight of me."

"Welcome to the club." Harrison's serious tone and somber expression had the desired effect. Sam burst out laughing.

"Shut up. Anyway, I couldn't figure out what to do about it, much less if I needed to do anything about it. We've been getting along a bit better now that the 'rentals have decided we need to stop fighting so we don't scar Mac."

"Did you think of anything? Because if you have, I'd love to hear about it. My plans usually involve some sort of bad seventies porn groove."

"Dude...don't make me have to hurt you. The only things I can think of are probably just as bad. I even thought of doing the secret admirer bit." Sam laughed mockingly. "Could you imagine that? 'Dear Brooke, I love you deeply, by the way, I'm a girl.' Yeah, that would have gone over great."

Harrison cocked his head to the side.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I've been researching that whole romance thing. Why don't you try putting a poem or something in the next issue of the paper?"

Sam stared at Harrison in disbelief.

"Gee, well, one, that would mean that I'd have to tell that bitch of a journalism teacher. Where the hell did they dig him up, anyway? And two, I am not in the mood for public humiliation right now, thank you very much."

Harrison turned away.

"It was a thought."

"Yeah, a bad one."

"I wrote something about Brooke once. It wasn't very good."

"Oh yeah? What was it?"

"Actually it was mostly just sex. Most of my fantasies about her tend to be that."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"And mine aren't?" She clapped a hand over her mouth. "I did not just say that. No one heard me say that."

"Say what? That you imagine Brooke's soft, supple skin pressed against yours before you go to sleep at night?"

Sam narrowed her eyes at Harrison, laughing merrily beside her.

"Laugh it up, boy-o, you won't be able to procreate in a minute here!"

Harrison's eyes widened as he backed away from Sam.

"Whoa, wait a minute! I didn't mean it! It was a joke!" Harrison fell off the edge of the couch onto his butt, landing with a resounding thud.

Silence filled the room for a scant moment before Sam's laughter filled the air.

"Get up, dude, the furniture look just isn't you."

Lily swept into the room, Carmen following closely behind.

"Kickass! I was hoping to find you two. Brooke apparently found something in the Novak and Mary Cherry had already spread it around that it's an illicit love note."

Sam dropped her head into her hands and groaned.

"Is she ok?" Carmen turned to Harrison, who looked befuddled for a moment before the clouds cleared.

"I have the sneaking suspicion that it was an illicit love note." Sam moaned. "One that she wasn't meant to read." Sam moaned again, more piteously this time. "One that was never meant to see the light of day, apparently."

"When did you get so good at understanding Sam-speak?"

Harrison shrugged in response to Carmen's question.

"Hey, being her best friend has it's perks."

"You mean besides the whole never being written about in a bad way thing?"

"Of course." Harrison grinned.

Lily was busy staring holes into the squirming freshmen.

"You two aren't hearing a thing, are you?" The freshmen fervently shook their heads no. "Excellent. What are your names?"

"J-James, ma'am." Lily raised an eyebrow. How cute, a baby butch.

"Renee." The soft spoken girl was squirming in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

"Well, James, Renee, it seems we have a bit of a crisis on our hands. You have two choices. You can either pack up your stuff and go to the computer lab and never speak a word of this again." They nodded, their attention rapt on the vibrant upperclassman before them. "Or you can stay and help us plot a way to get Sam and Brooke together."

The freshmen looked at each other and then at Lily.

"I'll stay." James spoke quickly, hoping that this invitation was real.

"Me too." Renee joined in a scant second later.

Lily smiled, a dangerous glint lighting her eyes.

"Wise choice. Just remember, if either of you speak a word about this to anyone other than us, we will make your lives living hell. We clear?"

"God, why are we terrorizing the freshmen? Get over here and sit already." Sam's impatient outburst startled the freshmen into action.

Sam stared at the two kids before her. They knew her secrets, so she might as well try and be friends with them.

"So, who are you?"

James scuffed the toe of her boot on the floor.

"Umm, I'm James Porter. I'm a freshman and, um, I'm gay, too."

Sam nearly laughed. This just seemed to be the day for finding the dykes. She turned her gaze to the blushing Renee.

"And you?"

"I'm Renee Stevenson, and, um, I'm a freshman and I'm only here cause I think James is cute."

Lily and Carmen looked at each other. No way.

"Whoa! No kidding?" James looked at Renee as though she had just made all her dreams come true.

Renee blushed.

"I guess so."

James stared at the floor, picking at her fingernail nervously.

"Ask her out already!" Sam exclaimed, startling everyone in the room. "Jeez..."

James laughed stiltedly and spoke.

"Umm...If you're not doing anything after school...do you want to go and, I dunno, get a milkshake or something?"

Renee blinked and laughed slightly.

"I'd love to. And then you have to come over so I can show you this anime. There's a joke in there I think you'll enjoy."

"Great! Now that we've got that out of the way, how about getting Sam and Brooke together?"

Sam stared at Lily as though she had grown another head.

"Who said I want to get with her? Maybe I just want to fantasize about her, like Harrison!"

Harrison raised his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Whoa there! You're the one who's in love with her! I just enjoy the eye candy!"

"You realize that if she ever was to be mine, I'd have to beat you senseless for that, right?"

Harrison paled slightly. Sam laughed.

"I'm kidding. So long as you never, ever ask me what my girlfriends are like in bed, we'll be fine."

"Not even once?"

Sam glared at Harrison.

"Protective much?" Carmen smirked as she watch Sam realize that she had been caught.

"Hey Sam, what's in here?" Lily held up Sam's battered notebook. Sam's eyes widened before she made a leap for the notebook.

"Give me that!"

"Whoa!" Lily backed away, circling to the other side of the couch. "Must be explosive for you to react like that."

"Lily..." Sam's warning tone went unheeded.

"What's in it, Lily?" Carmen prodded Sam in the ribs. "What have you been writing?"

"Oh my god." Shock lined Lily's features as her eyes took in one of the many poems Sam had scribbled in the notebook. Raising her shocked gaze to Sam's heavily blushing face, Lily was hard put to find the words to express herself.

"Oh...my...god." Lily handed the notebook to Sam, uncaring that everyone's eyes were on her. "Good Lord, Sam, after reading that, I'm halfway in love you myself! Oh my god!"

"I want to read it!" Carmen exclaimed.

"Me too!" Harrison and James chorused. Renee sat on the couch, watching Sam carefully.

Giving into her friends, Sam handed Carmen her notebook. She knew they would figure out a way to get at it eventually anyway.

Carmen read the poem, then handed it to Harrison wordlessly. He read it quickly before handing off the notebook to James.

James and Renee quickly read the poem then stared at Sam.

"My god..."

Sam dropped her head in her hands and groaned.

"Are you through with the humiliation yet?"

"Humiliation? Holy hell, that was better than anything Edna St. Vincent Millay could have ever dreamed. Better than Sappho and a whole hell of a lot better than Keats or Blake. You've got one hell of a gift."

Sam peeked up at James, hearing the murmured assent filling the room.

"You know your poets."

"Yeah, and I also know heartfelt confessions when I read them, and that ranks right up there with Xena on the sappy meter!"

Sam laughed.

"I am not that bad!"

Carmen cleared her throat.

"Sam, all I have to say is, if you were a guy, I would be all over you like white on rice."

Sam blushed.

"You look cute when you blush."

Sam glared at Lily.

"This is not happening. This is just...not happening."

Lily laughed.

"So, what do you think, guys? One of those in the paper, signed a secret admirer?"

Harrison snorted. Sam glared at him.

"I like it. Nice and public, but still anonymous." Carmen mused.

"I don't! And I'm one of the editors of the damn thing!"

"Well, write one. If we're all satisfied, it'll go in. Otherwise, we'll all track down Brooke and tell her you wrote the poem she has and that you are madly in love with her."

Sam stared at Lily for a moment.

"Give me the notebook."

Silent Confession

'How can I tell you the ways
You have captured my heart?
Your smile, your laughter
Always ready with your
Biting wit
If you could love a woman, would it be me?
I am the shadow that follows behind you
Always faithful
Always loving
Never betraying my presence
I've watched you for so long
It's a part of me
Seeing that twinkle in your eyes
Do you know that
My entire existence
Revolves around you
Already my life
Is yours
And always will be
And I will be content
With my watching
As I must
Because you don't love me
So I will live
With my unrequited lust
For your heart
Perpetually in love
With you, Brooke.'

Reading her finished poem over once more, Sam nodded.

"Here." She thrust the notebook at the closest person and stood.

Renee read the poem. Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she reached over and squeezed James' hand.

"My god...Brooke is a lucky woman."

The poem made the rounds. Sam sat brooding in one corner, secretly pleased that her friends were so intent on seeing this become a reality. Their faces all betrayed the impact the poem made on them.

Lily cleared her throat.


Carmen nodded in agreement.

"Alright, McPherson, you've bought yourself a reprieve." Lily turned her gaze to Renee and smiled. "Renee, aren't you training to be a cheerleader?"

Renee smiled demurely.

"You might say that."

"You're a cheerleader?" James' eyes developed a predatory glint. "Cool."

Renee shot James a quelling glance. James ducked her head, smiling.

"You want me to do recon."

"It would be nice."

Renee smiled. "I should have an update by tomorrow."

"Excellent. Oh, you and James are more than welcome to sit with us at lunch, by the way."

James grinned. A girlfriend and a group of new friends all in one day. This was definitely turning out to be the best school she'd ever attended.


Brooke clapped her hands, gaining everyone's attention. Fourth period was a good time for cheerleading, everyone was nice and awake.

"Alright everyone, let's run this through once more and then we'll talk about next week. Remember to snap your moves!"

The girls lined up and followed Brooke's lead.

"Ready! One, two, three, four..."

The routine went off very well. Brooke was pleased to see that the new recruits were quick learners. They might just have a shot at competition this year.

Pleased with her squad, Brooke gave them a quick pep talk before dismissing them to the showers.

"Hey, Stevenson! Get over here!" Brooke's voice carried easily over the soft conversations that had immediately sprung into being. Their teammates watched on their way out as Brooke waved Renee over to the bleachers.

"So. You used to be a gymnast."

Renee smiled politely, her expression carefully blank as she waited for Brooke to get to her point. The last of their teammates left the gym, the large steel door clanging shut behind her.

"Why did you quit?"

Renee raised an eyebrow. Exactly the question she expected.

"I prefer cheerleading."

Brooke stared at her, blinking.

"You prefer cheerleading here to competitive gymnastics?"

Renee smiled sadly, allowing a bit of the pain she carried to show.

"It's not worth killing myself for."

Brooke inhaled sharply. Did Renee know?

"Right around the first time I tried sticking my finger down my throat in order to be what my coach wanted, I realized that nothing was worth that. So I told my parents I wanted to quit gymnastics. They suggested I try cheerleading, so here I am."

"I see." Brooke sat with Renee in silence for a moment before standing. "Well, then I guess that's -"

"I've got another thing to tell you. I don't much care who knows, but I suppose I should tell you so you can't say you were surprised by this." Renee watched Brooke steadily.

"What's that?" Brooke prompted.

"I'm gay."

Of all the words that Brooke might have expected to hear come from the petite cheerleader, those two were among the last. She would have expected a confession of pregnancy before that.

"You're gay?" Brooke found herself unable to make any other response than merely blinking as the revelation sank in. A flutter of emotion stirred her stomach. "You're out?"

"I see no reason not to be. I have a girlfriend, and I like her a lot. I'm not about to hide who I am. This is L.A., not backwoods hillbilly country. Hello? West Hollywood ringing any bells? This city has more flaming queers than San Francisco!"

Brooke laughed and turned her gaze to the distant wall, losing herself in her thoughts.

"I'd definitely say that you should stay quiet until I've had a chance to fill you in." Brooke turned to Renee abruptly. "What are you doing today after school?"

"Going out with my girlfriend, why?"

"Perfect." Brooke grinned. "You and your girlfriend meet me at Martha's at 6. I'm taking you out to dinner."

Renee blinked. A laugh burst from her lips.

"Okay. We'll be waiting."

Brooke sobered.

"It's imperative that you not say anything to anyone about this. I don't want you going out there unarmed."

Renee shot a quizzical glance at Brooke as she stood.

"It's not that bad, is it?"

Brooke laughed, the brittle sound echoing in the cavernous gym.

"You don't want to find out."


Renee swept into the cafeteria at lunch, James in tow. With a flourish, she sat at the table, her lunch placed before her by James.

"Sam, you will not believe what Brooke wants from me!" James opened Renee's drink and placed it near her. "Thanks, sweetie. I came out to her and she said she's going to take James and I out to dinner tonight!"

"We are? Where?"

Renee waved off James' question.

"We'll find out later. So! What do you think?"

Lily hid her smirk behind her hand. Carmen grinned openly. Harrison giggled.

"Are you happy now?" Sam glared at Lily.

"The only way I could be happier was if you and Miss Peppy were about to leave on your honeymoon."

Sam spluttered, searching frantically for a response. Turning her head, she caught the worried gaze of Brooke from across the room. Her heart leapt in her chest as her brain screamed at her to stop staring before it got her in trouble. She returned her gaze to her fists, clenched in her lap.

I will not think of Brooke. I don't know how she's going to respond.

Brooke's mind whirled as she ignored the chatter around her.

Renee is friends with Sam? How...what?

"What is *she* doing with *them*?" Nicole stared coldly at the table across the cafeteria. Brooke tore her gaze from Sam's to look at her friend.

"What are you talking about?" Maybe she wasn't talking about Renee.

"That new girl. What does she think she's doing, sitting with Spam and her minions?" The scorn lacing Nicole's words stiffened Brooke's spine.

"She can sit with whoever she wants, Nic. Leave her alone." Brooke leveled a stern look at the blonde next to her.

"No! She is going to drag down the good name we have worked at for so long! This cannot continue!" Nicole rose and swept over to the other table.

James nudged Renee slightly with her knee.

"Harpy at three o'clock."

The whispered warning had barely escaped James' lips when Nicole Julian descended upon them with a vengeance few had ever seen.

"You! What do you think you are doing?"

Renee raised her gaze to Nicole. She could see Brooke beginning to make her way towards them.

"Eating lunch."

"Not with them! If you want any sort of social life, I suggest you steer clear of Spam and the Mod Squad." Brooke had reached them and was whispering furiously to Nicole to stop.

"Mod Squad? Am I the girl then?" Lily mused.

"I would have thought you would be the black guy." Sam grinned.

"Does that mean I have to be that other loser guy?" Harrison whined.

"Oh, like it's a new role for you. Come on. You had best leave as quickly as possible." Nicole stood waiting for Renee to rise in response to her haughty demand, ignoring Brooke's pleas.

"How is Jules?" James took a swig of soda and nonchalantly lounged in her chair. Conversation stopped at their table as all eyes turned to James. Brooke stared at James, wondering who Jules was. Nicole's face paled behind the layers of foundation and blush, giving her a sickly pallor.

"What did you say?" The barest whisper escaped her painted lips. This kid couldn't know, it was not possible.

"You remember Jules, don't you? Blonde, blue eyed. I was sure you and Jules were getting along famously the last time I saw you."

James' calm and friendly tone continued as Nicole struggled to retain her composure.

"Just let...him...know that James says hey, won't you?"

With a snarl, Nicole turned on her heel and fled the cafeteria. Brooke was left staring at the empty space her friend had just occupied.

"What the...What just happened here?" Brooke stood confused, staring at James.

James smiled sadly at Brooke.

"You'll have to ask her. It's not my place to tell you."

Brooke studied James for a moment, searching her face for any hint of deception. James kept her face in a bland mask, meeting Brooke's stare with one of her own. After a moment, Brooke's face cleared and she nodded.

"Yeah...I think I will. Thanks."


Brooke checked the Novak. Empty. The only other place she could think that Nicole would go would be away from the school. Brooke headed for the parking lot.

"Nic! NIC! Wait up!" Brooke's shout caused Nicole to pause in her swift escape.

"What?" Nicole's voice snapped.

"Let's get out of here, Nic." Brooke offered. Nicole stared at her for a moment before smiling weakly and nodding.


"Why don't we go to my house? No one's there right now." Brooke followed along behind the stiff backed woman she called friend.

"What about the spit up machine?"


"Sounds good, then."

They quickly found themselves at the Mansion. Brooke and Nicole made their way to the large couch in the living room. The empty house echoed with their breathing.

Brooke sat with Nicole, staring absently into the distance. She was more than ready to just sit here with Nicole all afternoon.

"Can I trust you?"

Brooke started at the harsh and sudden question. She frowned as the question registered.

"Of course."

"I'm not just talking regular everyday trust. I'm talking life or death, if this ever gets out, I will kill you kind of trust."

"As much as I can trust you."

Nicole's head snapped to stare coldly at Brooke.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. You tell me a secret and I'll tell you one. If one of us spills, the other will too. I'd say that sounds fair, don't you think?"

Nicole stared at Brooke for a long moment, blinking. She laughed shortly, the loud and brash echoes of her laughter reverberating off the walls.

"You don't have a secret dark enough."

Brooke leveled a sharp glance on Nicole.

"That's what you think."

Nicole shook her head.

"No. I don't believe you." She couldn't possibly have anything worse than what I have...

"You don't believe me? You, one of the only people in the world who knows how difficult it has been for me to *eat*...you think I'm lying?" Brooke stood and began to pace. The nervous energy she had been feeling all day demanded an outlet. "This is just wonderful. It's not bad enough that I find out that I have a secret admirer, now you have to tell me that you don't trust me!"

"You have another secret admirer?"

Brooke glared at Nicole.

"Yes, I have a secret admirer and don't try to change the subject. We're still on this not trusting thing."

"No, I'm liking this new secret admirer. Spill, who is it?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? It's a secret! Goddammit, I don't need this, too! Between this secret admirer writing blasted romantic poetry and dreaming about Sam every night-" Brooke stopped midsentence.


Nicole stared blankly at Brooke. Her mind seemed to be stuck on those words that echoed in her mind.

Brooke remained frozen in the middle of the room. Not a sound emerged from the direction of the couch. Daring to glance over at Nicole, Brooke saw that she was staring blankly at the floor.

"Nic? Say something."

Nicole raised her stunned gaze to Brooke.

"I guess you do have a dark enough secret." She laughed, the brittle rattle sounding forced. "God, if I'd known that, these last few months would have been so much easier."

Brooke tried to keep a lid on the growing pit of fear in her stomach.


Nicole shot a weak smile at her.

"Don't worry, Princess, there's nothing to worry about. You see...shit, I never thought I'd be telling you this. Jules is my girlfriend."

Brooke blinked, staring blankly at her friend on the couch. Nicole shifted uncomfortably.

"And, um, that kid must have found out somehow. So..."

"You bitch!" Brooke flew towards the couch and grasped a pillow. Raising it high above her head, she rained blow afer blow on the coiffed blonde on the couch.

"You let me worry what's been wrong with you for months while you had a GIRLFRIEND?" Nicole squirmed out from under Brooke's hail of blows. Armed with another pillow from the couch, she leapt to her feet and squared off to battle with her friend.

"Yeah? Where do you get off, huh? This is the first I've heard of your creaming for Spam! And what's THAT about? Spam? Of all people, you had to pick HER?" Nicole attacked with each phrase, the pillow smacking against Brooke's chest, back and head.

Brooke shoved Nicole back. The smaller blonde fell onto the floor with a loud thump.

Brooke dropped the pillow and knelt at Nicole's side.

"God, Nic! Are you ok?"

Nicole raised her gaze to Brooke. As their eyes met, they broke into laughter.

"Oh god...I'm sorry, the look on your face was just priceless!" Nicole explained around her laughter.

They embraced and rose from the floor. Returning the pillows to their rightful places, Brooke appeared deep in thought.

"How long?"

The soft question raised Nicole's eyebrow.

"Three months."

Brooke stared at Nicole.


"I met her in a bar, actually." Nicole laughed slightly, her nervousness showing in her stilted laugh. "It was only my second time there, and I saw her at the bar. I offered to buy her a drink and she accepted. So we started talking..." Nicole's face flushed scarlet. "And so we started dating."

Brooke stared at Nicole.

"You dog, you!" Brooke's face broke into a wide grin.

Nicole shrugged, a shy smile stretching her face.

"Want to see her? I have a picture here." At Brooke's nod, Nicole dug in her purse and produced a small picture of a smirking woman with dirty blonde hair.

"Wow...you have good taste."

"Yeah, not like you. Spam? God lord, Brookie, what are you thinking?"

"I'm not, ok? It's just...I see her and my mind short circuits. I can't think about anything but her. Everything I do, everything I see reminds me of her. She's so smart and she's insufferably arrogant." Brooke laughed shortly. "I went down the list of everything I ever hated about her and I just...I couldn't. Everything just made me want her and...and..."

Brooke dropped her head into her hands.

"Oh god."

Nicole smiled.

"You look immensely amusing."

Brooke raised her head and leveled a death glare on her friend.

"Keep it up and I'll tell your girlfriend *you* have a crush on Sam!"

Nicole paled.

"You wouldn't!"

Brooke grinned. Nicole nearly took a step back from the force of Brooke's evil stare.

"You would." Nicole stared at the seated blonde. "And people call me Satan."

Brooke laughed.

"So when am I meeting Jules?"


That afternoon, Brooke relaxed into the heated suds in her tub. She and Nicole had discussed for a couple hours, effectively skipping the rest of the school day. Brooke had blushed on more than one occassion as Nicole had teased her mercilessly about her unrequited crush on Sam.

Releasing a deep sigh, Brooke allowed the heat of the water to seep into her bones. Her bare knee peeked out from under the thick suds.

The door slammed open to reveal a frantic Sam, just home from school.

"Holy mother of-"

Sam stopped in the doorway and stared at Brooke.

"SAM! Get out of here! Can't I get any privacy?" Brooke grabbed the small rubber duck that sat on the edge of the tub and heaved it at Sam.

Stammering an apology and averting her eyes, Sam backed out of the room as quickly as she had entered, her face tinged with a deep scarlet.

"Oh my god..."

Sam collapsed on her bed and groaned deeply.

How stupid could she be? She expected Brooke to not be home yet, so she had given no thought to using their shared bathroom. Not only was Brooke home, now Sam had the image of a naked Brooke covered in suds seared onto her brain.

Her bladder quickly decided to assert it's authority once more, screaming for Sam's averted attention. Scrambling to her feet, Sam dashed for the downstairs bathroom.

In the bathroom on the second floor, Brooke relaxed once more. Her heart slowed it's pounding as the ramifications of Sam seeing her flitted through her mind.

Downstairs, Sam fought the near to overwhelming effects of her libido now that her bladder had ceased it's clamoring. Washing her hands mechanically, she refused to think of the gentle sliding of the suds over Brooke's knee. She was not going to remember the slight indentation on the outside of her knee that those lucky suds had gotten caught in. She would never think of the subtle swell of Brooke's breasts as they has risen from the thick sud layer that protected her from Sam's eyes.

With a groan, Sam shook her head to free it from the images. Wiping her hands dry, Sam fled the bathroom and returned to upstairs to her room.

As she reached the doorway, she stopped, staring at the door that separated her from a very naked Brooke.

Taking a deep breath, Sam walked over the door and placed a chair underneath the knob. Perfect. Returning to the door to the hallway, Sam flipped the lock. Just in case.

Sam pondered for a moment before turning on her computer. A few minutes later, the sounds of Hikaru Utada filled the room.

"Oh baby, wait and see..." flowed over Sam's senses. Turning the music up slightly, Sam pulled her shirt over her head.

The backs of her knuckles slid across her trapped nipples. Closing her eyes, Sam recalled the numerous times she'd seen Brooke in tight, revealing clothing. Flitting images of Brooke in progressivly less clothing filled her mind.

Her bra and pants were quickly discarded as she reclined on her bed. One hand slid over the smooth lines of her stomach and slipped under the waistband of her panties.

With a stifled groan, Sam finally allowed herself to touch where she wished Brooke would caress. Two fingertips slipped gently over the stiffness of her clitoris, triggering shudders of pleasure in her.

Less than six feet away, under a blanket of suds, the blonde object of Sam's raw lust arched into her hand, imagining what would have happened if Sam had stepped into the room instead of leaving. She would have smiled that slow, sexy smile that always got Brooke wet as she drew closer.

Her hand would have slid into the water, caressing Brooke's skin lightly as she moved lower. Then, with a final, confident smile, Sam would have thrust herself into Brooke, flicking over her clitoris and causing Brooke to scream her pleasure.

Shuddering and biting her lip, Brooke allowed the erotic images to overwhelm her and send her blissfully into her orgasm.

Panting, Brooke relaxed back against the cool wall of the tub. A single tear hovered at the corner of her eye.

It could never come true.


James eyed herself critically in the mirror. Hair artfully mussed, check. Clean and smelling good, check. Keys on left, check. Boots polished, check.

James grinned at herself. All she needed was the truck and she'd be the ultimate stereodyke.

With a final running of her hand throught her hair, James left the bathroom and returned to the table with Brooke and Renee. While she was gone, their drinks had been delivered.

"Hey." James smiled gently at Brooke, who was still fiddling with the same corner of napkin she had been when James had excused herself.

"It's Sam."

Renee and James shot a look at each other.

"What's Sam?"

Brooke laughed sharply and pulled out a folded piece of paper, tossing it across the table to James and Renee.

Unfolding the paper, James quickly read the poem.


Brooke smiled, her eyes laced with pain.

"It's Sam. Frickin' Sam." Brooke's head fell into her hands. "Why can't she tell me?"

James and Renee looked at each other once more.

"Umm...how do you know it's Sam?" Renee ventured carefully.


They blinked.

"Excuse me?" Renee wondered what ramen had to do with Sam's poem.

"On the grocery list at home. Sam wrote down ramen. Freakin' ramen. She scrawled it, larger than life."

Brooke sighed heavily and raised her gaze to Renee and James.

"So what am I supposed to do here? Go running off into her arms, recklessly ignoring any consequences of my actions? Wait until she comes to me? Spend the rest of my life pining after her? What am I supposed to DO?" Brooke

"Who said you have to decide now?" James inquired. "Making a decision right now seems a bit rash. Why not just flow with things and see where it takes you?"

Brooke pondered this for a moment before nodding.

"You have a point."

James grinned.

"See? I'm more than just a pretty face."

Brooke laughed.

"Yeah, yeah."

They fell into silence for a scant moment before Renee spoke.

"Are you going to come out?"

Brooke stared at Renee.

"I hadn't thought about it."

Renee took a sip of her iced tea.

"You might want to consider it. Might make it easier on Sam if she knows you swing that way. Unless you think there might be a problem with any cheerleaders..."

"That reminds me, how did you know about Jules?" Brooke turned her intent gaze on James.

James shrugged.

"I have many skills. Information gathering is but one of them."

Brooke laughed.

"You have been watching way too much TV."

James grinned unabashedly.

"Can you blame me? Bilious green sports bras, short leather skirts and round killing thingies...who wouldn't love it?"

"Someone with taste?" Renee smiled sweetly.

"Oh! You have wounded me, my lady!" James laid a hand on her chest, melodramatically playing it up. Renee giggled and lightly hit James' shoulder. Brooke smiled.

"Right. Anyway, you really don't have anything to worry about from Nic. Mary Cherry might be a bit of a problem, but she just wouldn't be herself if she wasn't. Besides that, no one will really care."

James and Renee laughed slightly and smiled at each other.

Things might just work out for Sam after all.


"So what happened?" Lily and Carmen immediately leapt on Renee and James the following morning.

Sam tried to look bored and inattentive. She fooled no one. They all knew her ears were straining to catch any hint of how their dinner with Brooke had gone.

James shrugged.

"Oh, you know, she's plotting the imminent downfall of all of mankind..."

Renee lightly backhanded James on her stomach.

"Hush you! It went fine. We just might have talked her into coming out, which will certainly be interesting."

"And how is she going to do that? Declare her undying love for pussy from the rooftops?" Sam sneered, her eyes scanning the cafeteria for her unrequited love, as she attempted to hide that fact.

"Oh you'd just love that, wouldn't you?" Lily smirked at Sam. She was not supposed to be called on that! They were supposed to react, well, differently! Sam glared, her mind scrambling for some sort of response.

"Hey, Sam, what do you think of that girl over there?"

Sam shot a quick glance in the direction Harrison pointed.

"Bitch, who'd rip out your balls as soon as look at you. Not to mention a lousy lay." Sam returned to glaring at Lily. Lily glared back at her friend. Harrison spluttered slightly in the background, his mind boggling at the thought that Sam could so readily identify exactly what the girl was like.

"Don't even try to deny that you wouldn't love hearing Brooke announce that she's gay, alright? I ain't buying it, and no one else is, either, so just sit your happy butt down and shut up. I want to know what Brooke said last night!"

Grumbling, Sam sat, a scowl firmly on her face as she tried to fool them into thinking she wasn't completely attentive and hanging on every word Renee and James spoke.


The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with Sam having her usual rush of adrenaline and arousal from sitting next to Brooke in class. Damn those teachers and their seating charts.

Or maybe it should be bless those damned teachers and their seating charts.

Either way, Sam arrived home to her room in her usual state, slightly flustered, mostly happy, and looking forward to some time alone in order to relieve her stress.

Which fantasy should she use today? Cheerleader Brooke, coming closer and closer until she was close enough for Sam's hand to slide up the smooth expanse of her inner thigh, meeting with the bared, smooth, wet skin of Brooke's...

Sam shivered as the erotic image fully imprinted itself on her mind.

Or maybe she should use the one of Brooke, reclining on the couch, in those cute panties that hugged the line of her ass, one hand moving slowly beneath the soft fabric, waiting for Sam to step across the living room and tear them away from Brooke's supple skin...

Sam finger brushed over her body as image after image flitted across her mind before settling in on her favorite.

Brooke arched beneath her, her hands grasping blindly at Sam's shoulders as Sam's fingers slid through the slippery evidence of Brooke's arousal.

"So...close..." Brooke's gasped plea was accompianied by a sudden clutching at Sam's shoulders.

Sam slid her fingertip gently over the stiffness of Brooke's demanding clitoris. Brooke threw her head back, her mouth working silently as Sam continued her digital manipulation.

"Oh god." The strangled phrase slipped from Brooke's lips just before her body shuddered and her face froze in a mask of pleasure.

Sam bit down on her pillow, muffling her cries as the picture of Brooke, caught in the beautiful moment of release remained burned in her mind.

At dinner that night, Sam tried her best not to stare at Brooke. This led to a marked difference in her conversational skills. Or rather, it would have, had Sam not been fighting this battle with herself for the better part of the time she had known Brooke.

"So did you enjoy yourself the other night, Brooke?" Jane stabbed an asparagus spear and raised it to her mouth as she lovingly interrogated her daughter.

"Last night? It was fine." Jane nodded as she chewed and swallowed.

"Where'd you end up going?" Jane smiled, intent on getting every last scrap of information she could before she finished her stir fry.

"That seafood place down on Armenia."

"I've heard good things about that place. What'd you think?"

"Well, their shrimp cocktail leaves much to be desired, but other than that, they're wonderful."

Mike nodded in agreement with Brooke.

"After going to that one place in Ensenada, no where else comes close."

Brooke smiled, as she spotted the opening to allow the conversation to be diverted from her.

"Are we taking any trips this year?"

"Oh, maybe. Mike and I were discussing visiting New York in June."

Sam lifted her head to stare at Jane as though she had sprouted a new head.

Jane blinked.


"You *do* realize that June in Gay Pride Month, right?"

"Of course."

"And you do realize that New York, in June, is little more than one parade after another, with the occassional break for a gay themed performance?

Jane nodded nonchalantly.

"Yep. Was that your point?"

Sam shook her head and returned to her plate.

"I was thinking we could visit your cousin Steve. You know, the one that loves the track lighting and "Spartacus"?" Jane smiled innocently as she intentionally baited her daughter.

"I know he's gay, I'm not blind." Sam grumbled.

"And we can even meet his boyfriend, Mark."

"Mark is gay?" Mike frowned. "I didn't know that."

Jane raised an eyebrow.

"Dear, the man spends half his day in the gym and the other half at the bathhouse. How could you miss it? Besides, with that sister of his, who can't tell?"

"Mark has a sister?" Mike's befuddlement clearly showed.

"Yes...you remember Keagan..."

"Oh my god, Keagan is a woman?!" Mike's voice rose to a squeak. His face was a classic study in shock; his mouth hung open slightly and his eyes were wide.

Brooke burst out laughing.

"You didn't know that, Daddy? What tricked you, I wonder...the flat chest or the deep voice? The stubble?" Brooke teased her father, This was too funny.

"She had stubble?" Mike frowned. "I didn't notice that."

Brooke looked over at Jane, their smiles wide.

"Daddy, Keagan took Jane to that bar, rememeber?"

"You went to a gay bar?"

"Well, technically it was a lesbian bar..."

"Which one?" Sam's question threw Jane off her stride and swung Brooke's intense gaze over to her. Deep in the recesses of Brooke's eyes, a smoldering emotion waited to be stoked by a single glance.

"Marge's." Jane blinked as Sam laughed.

"You've heard of it, I take it?" Jane's wry question hid her now piqued curiosity.

"It's a butch/femme bar! Keagan took you to a butch/femme bar!" Sam laughed at the slightly confused look on her mother's face.

"And this is so funny, why?" Jane's eyebrow raised as she asked.

"Oh, come on, Mom! Like the thought of Grandma in a lesbian bar, especially a butch/femme bar, isn't amusing to you?"

Jane shuddered slightly.

"Actually, she used to visit this bar in Berlin, before the war..."

"Eew! I do not want to hear about Grandma!" Sam shook her head to banish the thought. Her head raised to catch Brooke smiling mysteriously at her.

Sam's breath caught and she promptly forgot what had been stuck in her mind.

The rest of dinner passed with their usual fare of good natured jokes, usually at one another's expense. After dinner, Sam excused herself and made for her bedroom, citing homework.

As she closed her bedroom door behind her, she couldn't help but wonder why her mother wanted to go to New York in the middle of Pride.


"Hey Brooke, Jane and I were thinking about joining PFLAG."

Brooke nearly fell off her chair as she stared at her father.

"You want to do what?"

"Join PFLAG. You know, "Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays?""

Brooke waved her hand dismissively.

"I know what it is. I want to know why you two want to join!"

Mike blinked at his daughter as though she had just missed an obvious connection. For her part, Brooke held her breath. He couldn't know about her just yet, could he?

"Well, for one, there's Steve. Then there's the hints that Jane's sister has been throwing around. Oh, and we can't forget Uncle Chester, he's been known to haunt the bars. Then a couple other cousins on either side, that we know of, and of course, the ones that haven't come out yet."

"Are you saying homosexuality runs in our families?!" Brooke's voice rose. Jane peeked around the corner from the other room, and seeing that they weren't at arms, walked into the room.

"Actually, there have been those studies that suggest that." Jane nodded to herself. "I would have to say there is definitely a marked number of relatives that are gay."

Mike nodded his agreement.

"I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if both you and Samantha turned out to be gay." Mike mused.

Brooke stared at Mike, her heart thudding heavily in her chest.

"Umm...This has all been quite fascinating, but I have some homework to do. Excuse me."

With a rush of adrenaline spurring her into action, Brooke fled to the relative safety of her room.

Downstairs, Mike and Jane listened for the telltale light slam that indicated when Brooke entered her room. Turning their gazes to each other. they smiled.

"That went well."

"How soon, do you think?"

"If we continue to push, within the next few weeks."

Jane and Mike collapsed on the couch.

"Man! Who would have thought we'd end up trying to get our girls to tell us their sexuality?"


The following days seemed to Brooke to be filled with scenes reminiscent of a bad movie. Her father and Jane both seemed intent on discussing sexuality and homosexuality specifically, and little else. They were intent on taking them all on a family trip to New York for Pride. They had all but confessed as much.

Brooke was spending a lot of time in her room, as was Sam. She could only guess that Jane and her father had cornered her love as well.

Her love. She was still no closer to finding out if Sam was ready for her. Brooke nearly laughed at her thoughts. Ready for her. If the amount of time Sam spent locked in her room was any indication, Sam's body was more than ready.

Her mind was a different matter. It was beginning to be spread around the school that Sam didn't like men. Brooke half smiled as a brief flash of a remembered smile from Sam flickered across her memory.

James and Renee had continued to talk to her, even going so far as to have visited for an evening. Jane and her father had seemed to have a field day with that. They had spent an inordinate amount of time questioning and discussing lesbianism with the young couple. Most especially, they discussed family relations. Jane had asked twice if their families had any objections.

Renee's answer had made her laugh.

"So long as I promise to practice safe sex and that they'll have grandchildren to spoil after they have gray hairs, they're fine with it."

Jane nodded, her expression thoughtful.

"I'd probably react the same way." She shrugged slightly. "Don't know for sure, but probably."

"You'd accept that, say, Brooke or Sam, was a lesbian?" James tilted her head to the side as she asked.

"Oh, undoubtedly. Don't you agree, Mike?"

Mike nodded.

"Of course. I love the girls, I just want them to be happy, you know?"

"It's wonderful how far we've come as a culture in such a short time. It was just a few decades ago that Stonewall Inn was raided." James spoke soberly.

"That was in the late sixties, wasn't it?" Mike mused.

James smiled.

"Yes, in June."

Mike grinned.

"I was living there at the time, I remember those riots. It was interesting."

The conversation quickly veered to different topics, including the mechanics of safe sex between women.

"A bit of saran wrap, a condom that's been cut in half, or even an actual dental dam...latex gloves...and of course, sex toys." Renee's frank tone shocked Sam and Brooke, who began to blush furiously as their parents and their friends discussed sex.

The two spent an uncomfortable evening, trapped with the four actively engaged in discussion.

Both Sam and Brooke came away from that evening with a bit of hope in their hearts. They could try and come out to their parents.


Sam paced her room, six steps up, turn, six down, turn. Her mother was supposed to be home soon. Then they could talk.

Sam ran a hand through her hair. What was taking her so long?

The distant hum of the garage door alerted Sam to the arrival of her mother. She bounded from her room and down the stairs, meeting her mother as she walked into the kitchen.

"Mom! Hi." Sam swallowed nervously. This was a hell of a lot harder than it sounded.

"Hey, Sammy. What's up?" Jane took in the subtle clues. Would this be it?

"With all this talk recently, I've been thinking that I should tell you..."

An interminable pause filled the kitchen as Sam's throat worked to get out the words.

"...I'm gay."

Sam held her breath as she waited for her mother's response.

"Have you been practicing safe sex?"

"Mom! I'm a virgin!" Jane allowed that to pass by.

"Will you practice safe sex?"

"Yes. I'm not about to be stupid enough to get something."

"After I'm old and grey, you'll make sure I have lots of grandchildren to spoil?"

Sam looked taken aback by that.

"Ahh...I guess I'll have to discuss it with whatever girlfriend I have, but...yes."

Jane wrapped her daughter in a hug as she spoke.

"Then everything's ok. I love you, and I had a sneaking suspicion."

Sam blushed as tears of relief pricked at her eyes.

"What gave it away?"

"Well, there is that thing about how I *know* you have better taste than the boys you ever brought home."

Sam's cheeks tinged a brilliant red.

"Yeah, well..."

"Then there's the collection of standard Michigan Woman's Music Festival performance lineup CD's..."

The blush was beginning to tinge her ears.

"Then of course there's the not too subtle checking out of the women."

The blush was in complete control of Sam's upper body.


"Daddy? Can I talk to you about something?"

Brooke fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

"Of course, sweetie. Sit down and tell me what's wrong." Mike smiled.

"Umm...what would you say if I told you I might be gay?"

Mike's smile didn't falter one bit.

"I'd have to say make sure to bring your girlfriends home for inspection."

Brooke blushed, a light pink dusting her cheeks.

"Well, actually, I don't have one."

"Why not? What's wrong with those girls, that they can't see how wonderful you are? Do I need to talk to them?" Mike's smile transformed into a frown.

"No, Daddy, it's not that...it's that I haven't told her I'm in love with her yet."

Mike nodded, his expression serious.

"Sounds serious."

Brooke nodded, her hands gaining a new fascination for her.

"She is." The soft admission filled the room.

Brooke was startled to feel her father's arm plopping onto her shoulder to pull her close for a quick, strong hug.

"Why don't you tell me about her?"

Brooke smiled shyly and ducked her head.

"Well, she's really smart. She writes, a lot. I've read quite a bit of her work and it's just amazing. She's got the most expressive eyes I've ever seen, and her laugh...it's like an angel." Brooke smiled sadly. "She'd never go for me, though. She can't stand me."

"Oh, honey, that can't be true! Everyone loves you, even Sam! And you know how much of a hard sell she was!" Mike tried to reassure his daughter, scared that this might just trigger another episode.

Brooke laughed bitterly.

"Maybe. Sometimes I don't think Sam likes me. She doesn't seem to."

Mike frowned.

"She'll just leave as soon as I walk into a room, sometimes. I wonder if something's wrong with her, but I don't have the guts to ask."

Mike nodded, his gut telling him to continue listening. Something big was coming, he could feel it.

"It's hard, you know? The other day, she told me the shirt I was wearing looked good. Then she didn't talk to me again until the next day." Brooke sighed. "I just don't get her. She's so mysterious. And smart, too. Dear god, she's smart. Did you ever read her article on Title IX? It was good enough to be syndicated, I swear. If it had been printed in the local paper instead of the school paper, maybe it would have. She's so talented it's scary."

Mike cleared his throat awkwardly, his brain having made a connection of which he wasn't too confident.

"Brooke? Is Sam the one you're in love with?"

Brooke's head snapped back as her frightened eyes locked onto her father. When all she saw was a supportive questioning, she broke.

Tears beginning to make tracks along her face, she nodded silently.

Mike nodded in return, pulling Brooke into another hug. This warranted a discussion with Jane.


That night, both Brooke and Sam slept fitfully. Brooke's head kept mulling over her conversation with her father. God, had she really come out to her father, and told him she was in love with Sam?

Sam lay a room away, turning from one side to the other. She had sent the paper to the publisher yesterday. The new issue would be waiting for her in the morning. In approximately four hours.

Sam punched the pillow, in her frustration unable to get comfortable, and fell into a fitful sleep.


"Brooke!" The hissed whisper came from the Novak. Brooke raised an eyebrow at that. Who could be waiting for her? She could have sworn that the only other people in the school this early were people like Sam, who had to get the paper ready for distribution, and her, who had gotten a ride in from Sam.

Intrigued by the mini mystery, Brooke entered the Novak and immediately spotted an agitated Nicole.

"What's wrong, Nic?"

"Read this."

Brooke blinked her eyes into focus and read the newsprint beneath her nose.

So I will live with my unrequited lust for your heart, perpetually in love with you...

"Brooke!" Nicole hissed.

Brooke raised her eyes to Nicole.

"You've got a fricking secret admirer! Who's a girl!" Nicole began to pace the Novak. "Do you have any idea who it is?"

Brooke watched Nicole absently, her mind tumbling as she remembered where she had seen that phrase before.


Nicole stopped mid stride and stared at Brooke.

"What does she have to do with this?"

"It's her."

Nicole stared.

"Brookie, you must have fallen and hit your head on the steps of the Palace this morning, because you are making no sense! Your secret admirer is...Sam? The same person who called you the bane of her existence as a legitimate journalist and the embodiment of all that is evil and wrong in American society? The woman you're in love with? Any of this ringing a bell?"

Without a word, Brooke pulled a battered piece of paper from her backpack and handed it to her friend.

Brooke watched as Nicole's eyes grew progressively wider and the shock on her face more pronounced. When she reached the phrase that revealed to Brooke who the author was, Nicole stopped reading and stared at her friend.

"What the fuck."



Sam lifted the stacks of papers, moving them onto the dolly cart that would take them through the halls to their final destinations: classrooms, then finally to the students.

Whistling absently, Sam continued hoisting the baled papers, glancing over her shoulder as the door opened.

She paused, dropping the papers she held onto the dolly with barely a thought.

"Hello." Her eyes narrowed as she eyed Nicole suspiciously.

"Pull your claws back, I'm here for Brooke."

"She's not here."

"Did you figure that out all by yourself?" Nicole shook her head. "I'm not here for that. I'm here because of the poems you keep writing."

Sam's face went carefully blank.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please. "Unrequited lust for your heart", like anyone else could come up with something so sappy? Nice touch, by the way, it really got her."

Sam's arm muscles clenched as she spoke calmly.

"Why are you here?"

Nicole sighed heavily.

"I so chould not be doing this, but, dammit, Brooke deserves some sort of happiness. She knows it's you. She's been waiting for you to come to her. Once it starts getting out that she's gay, you won't have a chance."

Sam blinked, her shock showing clearly.


"Was that too fast for you? Do you need me to use smaller words? She's in love with you, McPherson! Get over yourself and ask the girl out, already! Shit..." Disgusted, but having fulfilled her duty as the best friend, Nicole abruptly fled the press room, leaving a stunned Sam behind.

Mechanically, she began to load more papers.

"Hey, Sam." Fred had entered and smiled at his editor. "Anything for me to do here?"

"Finish with the papers. I'll be back." Sam quickly fled for the outdoors.

The California sun beat down on her head, the heat just barely taking the edge off the morning chill. Allowing the dual sensations of the chill and the warmth to seep into her, Sam mused over her options, silently and quickly coming to a conclusion.

Any and all actions needed must be taken in the safety of her own home. Prefereably with a naked, willing Brooke.

At lunch, she caught up with her friends. In between less than helpful suggestions from James followed immediately by whaps from Renee, Sam was able to begin to feel a little better.

That was when she noticed that the school was a buzz with the word of Brooke's lesbian admirer. They seemed to mostly be intrigued with the idea. Very few actually said anything other than a "well, good for her," or some similar remark.

One of those few was Josh. His ego still sorely bruised from his breakup with Brooke, he heard the news with a dawning understanding. So that was why she never liked it... A swagger inserted back into his step, Josh went off to talk to Sugar Daddy about this new development.

It was rumored around the school that Brooke's secret lesbian admirer had chosen to put the poem in the paper like that because she was ugly and didn't want to be rejected. Others were beginning to suspect that it might be someone close to Brooke. In the shadowed halls and deserted classrooms of the school, bets were beginning to be placed.

For Sam, sitting next to Brooke in class had been...slightly difficult. About as difficult as walking away from her in that bathtub last week had been. They had exchanged brief greetings before turning to their own work.

Their teacher had decided to give them a free period. Sam immediately fled toward Harrison, Lily and Carmen to discuss the situation. They agreed that the best action would be to wait until she and Brooke were alone, and just ignore the rumors for now.

For her part, Brooke watched Sam as surreptitously as possible before giving up and beginning to list the things she would like to do to a naked, willing Sam.


The afternoon, Sam and Brooke arrived home together. They smiled awkwardly at each other. Sam took a deep breath and fled to her room.

Brooke stared after the spooked brunette. Maybe she should just barricade herself in her room and never come out again.

A flash of a remembered glimpse of desire blossomed in Brooke's mind. She smiled. Sam loved her. She knew it.

Knock, knock.

"Sam? Can I talk to you?"

"Go ahead."

Brooke let out an exasperated sigh.

"I am not having a discussion with your door!"

After a long moment, the door opened a crack. Brooke pushed on the door. It swung open easily, Sam having returned to her bed to stare at the ceiling.

"So talk."

Brooke sighed again. Sam was not making this easy on her.

"I know who put that poem in the paper."

"Yeah? It was me."

"You admit it?"

Sam shrugged.

"I'm the Editor, I put everything into the paper."

Brooke closed her eyes for a moment. Sam could truly be trying when she wanted to be.

"That's not what I meant, Sammy."

"Then what'd you mean?"

"I mean I know you love me. As in, you're in love with me."

Sam stared blankly at the ceiling. Holy shit, this could not be happening. Nicole couldn't be right, could she?

"It's true, isn't it Sammy? You wrote that poem for me. And you wrote this one, too." Brooke pulled out the battered poem and read it softly. She didn't really need to pull out the paper. She had already committed it to memory, from having read it so many times.

"You love me." Brooke collapsed into Sam's desk chair. Sam remained silent and motionless on the bed. "It took me a while to get my mind wrapped around that. Why would you be in love with me? I'm no prize and I know it. But you...you're amazing. Everyday you make me fall a little bit deeper in love with you."

Sam inhaled sharply, her body stiffening. Brooke laughed slightly.

"Didn't expect that, did you? Yes, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a long time. I had a horrid way of showing it, didn't I?" Brooke shook her head. "No more. I'm sick of lying. I came out to my daddy a couple days ago. He knows I'm in love with you, by the way."

That got Sam moving. She leapt from the bed and began steadily pacing. Brooke watched her, swallowing her desire for just a little longer. She had to finish saying everything she needed to say. She had to tell her.

"I'm not going to lie anymore, Sammy. If someone asks me if I'm gay, I'm going to tell the truth. Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I'm in love with the editor of the school paper, who has written more than a few horrid editorials about me and my friends. No, I don't care who knows it. If anyone has a problem with it, they can tell it to someone who cares."

Sam inhaled deeply and stopped her pacing. She faced her bedroom door, the smooth paint offering her nothing to stare at. So she turned and her eyes naturally fell on the beautiful blonde in her room.

"I tried to hide it." Not exactly the most romantic of confessions, but Brooke supposed she would hear plenty of those in time to come.

"You failed."

Sam smiled slightly.


Brooke stood, her gaze locked on Sam.

"I don't expect anything from you, you know. I just wanted to tell you. I thought you needed to know."

Sam smiled, her eyes beginning to light with an inner fire that sent thrills down Brooke's spine, to pool in her groin.

"I expect much of you."

With that, Sam closed the distance between them at a slow, measured pace. Brooke found herself breathing shallowly in anticipation.

Sam stopped a scant breath from Brooke, close enough that if they took a deep breath, their breasts would touch. Sam slid one arm around Brooke's waist. The other snaked up her back, to cup the back of her head.

Looking deeply into Brooke's eyes, Sam spoke the words she had never dared to imagine speaking.

"I love you."

Brooke smiled widely.

"I love you."

Their lips touched gently at first, familiarizing themselves with the tastes and textures of each other. The subtle scents that filled their noses pulled their bodies closer together as their minds swirled with newly erotic emotion.

Sam's fingers threaded through Brooke's hair, pulling the woman of her dreams in for a deeper kiss. Brooke's lips parted readily for the gentle exploration of Sam's tongue.

The taste that filled Sam's mouth was more satisfying than anything that she had ever had the pleasure of sampling in her life. Odes could be written to the taste of Brooke. Novels could be penned detailing the sensation of holding Brooke. None would come close to the perfection of Brooke.

Sam pulled away from Brooke's lips reluctantly, her body pressing into Brooke's as a deep groan erupted from her chest.

Panting lightly, they leaned their foreheads together, relishing the lingering effects of their kisses. A smile quirked one corner of Sam's mouth and and ducked her head for one more kiss.

"I love you." Sam pressed brief kisses to Brooke's lips.

"I love you." Brooke smiled as Sam's kisses migrated to her cheek, then down her neck. Giggling lightly, Brooke pushed at Sam's shoulder.

"Oh, you!"

Sam smiled, her expression blissful and slightly tense.

"If we don't stop now, you're not leaving this room until morning." Sam smiled sadly. "As much as I would love being wrapped in your arms all night, I don't trust myself around you without a chaperone."

Brooke pouted prettily.

"You mean I have to wait?"

Sam laughed slightly.

"Hey now...I'm still a virgin, I'll thank you to remember."

Brooke inhaled sharply. A predatorily hungry glint sparked to life in her eyes as her expression turned sultry.

"I should go, before I can't."

Sam hesitated a scant moment before pressing her lips once more against Brooke's in an impassioned kiss.

"Before you go...would you care to go see a movie with me tonight?"

Brooke smiled.

"Are you asking me out?"

Sam smiled and stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the door.

"I guess that depends on your answer."

Brooke looked up at Sam from under her eyelashes.

"I say you better be ready to take me out at seven."

Sam grinned hugely.

"Until seven, then."

Brooke nodded, her eyes glowing with love as she returned the smile.

"Until seven."

"I love you."

"I love you."

Brooke dissappeared into the bathroom that connected with her room. Sam threw her head back, a wide grin covering her features. She was going to look forward to a long, drawn out courtship before she asked Brooke for her hand in marriage.


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